![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cindylou on April 24, 2002, at 21:29:46
Just wondering -- I've been skeptical of my BPII diagnosis, because I've never had an actual "manic" episode that I hear of ... fast speech, fast thinking, shopping sprees, stuff like that.
But I get SO AGITATED I can hardly stand it; I can hardly function.
I took Nortriptyline last night and experienced that horrendous agitation today. Now I am exhausted and spent because I had to take more Klonapin than I have ever had to control the agitaiton.
I feel like I shouldn't even be home with my toddler, the way I was today.
Just curious-- could this BPII diagnosis be correct, even though I don't have "mania" as I hear it defined ... (an online screening test said I wasn't Bipolar because I didn't have these manic episodes. It never brought up the extreme agitation issue.)
thanks in advance.
I guess I've gone downhill considerably since I've been off the Lamictal. I felt so lousy on it, I thought it wasn't working. It must have been keeping me afloat more than I knew.sorry for all my desparate pleas for help. Thanks though for listening.
cindy
Posted by Ritch on April 24, 2002, at 23:18:37
In reply to Can extreme agitation be considered mania?, posted by Cindylou on April 24, 2002, at 21:29:46
> Just wondering -- I've been skeptical of my BPII diagnosis, because I've never had an actual "manic" episode that I hear of ... fast speech, fast thinking, shopping sprees, stuff like that.
>
> But I get SO AGITATED I can hardly stand it; I can hardly function.
>
> I took Nortriptyline last night and experienced that horrendous agitation today. Now I am exhausted and spent because I had to take more Klonapin than I have ever had to control the agitaiton.
>
> I feel like I shouldn't even be home with my toddler, the way I was today.
>
> Just curious-- could this BPII diagnosis be correct, even though I don't have "mania" as I hear it defined ... (an online screening test said I wasn't Bipolar because I didn't have these manic episodes. It never brought up the extreme agitation issue.)
>
> thanks in advance.
> I guess I've gone downhill considerably since I've been off the Lamictal. I felt so lousy on it, I thought it wasn't working. It must have been keeping me afloat more than I knew.
>
> sorry for all my desparate pleas for help. Thanks though for listening.
>
> cindy
Hi again Cindy,You could have a primary anxiety disorder and be misdiagnosed. Hey, I have had a bipolar diagnosis for 25 years and my dx has changed three times in the last four years! When I get "hypomanic" I don't burn a ton of money or do stupid things I sweat over for weeks afterwards, either. But, nortrip. helped me, but YMWV. You may just be touchy with TCA's, that's all (norepi meds). You just get too "adrenalized". If you are really stressed-that can make things worse. Forgive me if I have forgotten anything else you have tried, but have you added a low-dose of an SSRI med to your Klonopin (like Celexa/Paxil, etc.)? Just wondering.
Mitch
Posted by Ron Hill on April 24, 2002, at 23:59:29
In reply to Can extreme agitation be considered mania?, posted by Cindylou on April 24, 2002, at 21:29:46
Cindy,
I'm sorry that the TCA made you so irritable. The answer to your question is yes, there are two types of mania; dysphoric mania (or hypomania) and the milder mannered cousin, euphoric mania (or hypomania). The latter is what typically comes to mind when we hear the word "mania", but many suffer with the dysphoric type. The key features are anger and irritability. However, I have no clue that dysphoric hypomania is applicable to you. Might be, might not. What does your pdoc think?
I lost track of you for a week or two. I thought you were planning a trial of omega 3 PUFA's and SAM-e. Am I remembering this correctly? If so, what happened there?
-- Ron
-----------------------------------------Just wondering -- I've been skeptical of my BPII diagnosis, because I've never had an actual "manic" episode that I hear of ... fast speech, fast thinking, shopping sprees, stuff like that.
>
> But I get SO AGITATED I can hardly stand it; I can hardly function.
>
> I took Nortriptyline last night and experienced that horrendous agitation today. Now I am exhausted and spent because I had to take more Klonapin than I have ever had to control the agitaiton.
>
> I feel like I shouldn't even be home with my toddler, the way I was today.
>
> Just curious-- could this BPII diagnosis be correct, even though I don't have "mania" as I hear it defined ... (an online screening test said I wasn't Bipolar because I didn't have these manic episodes. It never brought up the extreme agitation issue.)
>
> thanks in advance.
> I guess I've gone downhill considerably since I've been off the Lamictal. I felt so lousy on it, I thought it wasn't working. It must have been keeping me afloat more than I knew.
>
> sorry for all my desparate pleas for help. Thanks though for listening.
>
> cindy
Posted by Alii on April 25, 2002, at 0:05:53
In reply to Re: Can extreme agitation be considered mania? » Cindylou, posted by Ron Hill on April 24, 2002, at 23:59:29
Ron,
You were kind ever so way back: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010131/msgs/53692.html
and I'm wondering if you could point me in a direction to find out specifics of dysphoric mania.
Thanks. And many thanks for your kindness back then too.
--Alii
Posted by Ron Hill on April 25, 2002, at 1:10:38
In reply to re: dysphoric mania » Ron Hill, posted by Alii on April 25, 2002, at 0:05:53
>I'm wondering if you could point me in a direction to find out specifics of dysphoric mania.
----------------------Hi Alii,
It has been a while since we last talked. I hope you are doing well. I suggest you merely type "dysphoric mania" into your search engine of choice and surf the results. When I did this just a minute ago, many good links came up, one of which was this one:
http://home.att.net/~mercurial-mind/dysphoria.html
Best to you and yours. Write back if there is more that you want to share.
-- Ron
Posted by Cindylou on April 25, 2002, at 4:08:48
In reply to Re: Can extreme agitation be considered mania? » Cindylou, posted by Ritch on April 24, 2002, at 23:18:37
Hi Mitch!
I just resonded to your last post to me, and then found this one!Yes, I think I have tried every med out there. I am very med-sensitive; can't tolerate SSRIs, SNRIs, stimulants, APs, and, now tricyclics. I did okay with the Lamictal, but it seemed to make me volatile on higher doses -- ironically, I swung back and forth between fatigue and agitation more often after I hit 100 mg.
Go figure.
I think you're right about the generalized anxiety issue rather than bipolar. And, I have a boatload of stress in my life, not to mention a 2 year old who has taken to the "terrible twos" with a vengence -- pushing every button I have and more. (My husband got fired a couple months ago, and we may be moving out of state ... all that stuff adds up!)
Okay, enough babbling here. But thanks so much for you help!
cindy
>
> Hi again Cindy,
>
> You could have a primary anxiety disorder and be misdiagnosed. Hey, I have had a bipolar diagnosis for 25 years and my dx has changed three times in the last four years! When I get "hypomanic" I don't burn a ton of money or do stupid things I sweat over for weeks afterwards, either. But, nortrip. helped me, but YMWV. You may just be touchy with TCA's, that's all (norepi meds). You just get too "adrenalized". If you are really stressed-that can make things worse. Forgive me if I have forgotten anything else you have tried, but have you added a low-dose of an SSRI med to your Klonopin (like Celexa/Paxil, etc.)? Just wondering.
>
> Mitch
Posted by Cindylou on April 25, 2002, at 4:16:14
In reply to Re: Can extreme agitation be considered mania? » Cindylou, posted by Ron Hill on April 24, 2002, at 23:59:29
Hi again, Ron.
I just posted you from another thread and found this one! I suppose I should read all my posts before responding ...Anyway, like I mentioned in my earlier post, I haven't tried SAM-e since we last discussed it ... I did try the Omega-3s, though, and I was so exhausted for some reason I could barely function. I go back and forth between this extreme agitation, then exhaustion. I'm not sure if it was due to Klonapin (which usually makes me tired at first but then I level out), or perhaps the Omega 3? I have been including too many variables at once.
I suppose if it was the Omega 3 making me tired, and the SAM-e did cause me some anxiety, the two could be a good mix! Who knows?? But I'm going to hold off on anything until meeting with these MD's I told you about on Tuesday.
Thanks for your interest and support!!! It means the world to me.
cindy
> Cindy,
>
> I'm sorry that the TCA made you so irritable. The answer to your question is yes, there are two types of mania; dysphoric mania (or hypomania) and the milder mannered cousin, euphoric mania (or hypomania). The latter is what typically comes to mind when we hear the word "mania", but many suffer with the dysphoric type. The key features are anger and irritability. However, I have no clue that dysphoric hypomania is applicable to you. Might be, might not. What does your pdoc think?
>
> I lost track of you for a week or two. I thought you were planning a trial of omega 3 PUFA's and SAM-e. Am I remembering this correctly? If so, what happened there?
>
> -- Ron
> -----------------------------------------
>
> Just wondering -- I've been skeptical of my BPII diagnosis, because I've never had an actual "manic" episode that I hear of ... fast speech, fast thinking, shopping sprees, stuff like that.
> >
> > But I get SO AGITATED I can hardly stand it; I can hardly function.
> >
> > I took Nortriptyline last night and experienced that horrendous agitation today. Now I am exhausted and spent because I had to take more Klonapin than I have ever had to control the agitaiton.
> >
> > I feel like I shouldn't even be home with my toddler, the way I was today.
> >
> > Just curious-- could this BPII diagnosis be correct, even though I don't have "mania" as I hear it defined ... (an online screening test said I wasn't Bipolar because I didn't have these manic episodes. It never brought up the extreme agitation issue.)
> >
> > thanks in advance.
> > I guess I've gone downhill considerably since I've been off the Lamictal. I felt so lousy on it, I thought it wasn't working. It must have been keeping me afloat more than I knew.
> >
> > sorry for all my desparate pleas for help. Thanks though for listening.
> >
> > cindy
Posted by crepuscular on April 25, 2002, at 11:56:57
In reply to Can extreme agitation be considered mania?, posted by Cindylou on April 24, 2002, at 21:29:46
this absolutely *can* be mania, in fact it's a particularly dangerous kind because in my experience it shifts so quickly into an energized depressive state.
had one this last winter that was downright homicidal & paranoid. seroquel pulled me back to earth...
hate this state of mind, yuck yuck yuck!
good luck.
Posted by Cindylou on April 25, 2002, at 12:14:20
In reply to Re: Can extreme agitation be considered mania?, posted by crepuscular on April 25, 2002, at 11:56:57
Thanks...
it sucks, doesn't it?Could you give me a bit of information about Seroquel? I can always look up info on the internet, but I like to hear about experiences, side effects, etc. I'm very glad to hear that it has helped you.
Also, are you on any other med with it?
thanks,cindy> this absolutely *can* be mania, in fact it's a particularly dangerous kind because in my experience it shifts so quickly into an energized depressive state.
>
> had one this last winter that was downright homicidal & paranoid. seroquel pulled me back to earth...
>
> hate this state of mind, yuck yuck yuck!
>
> good luck.
Posted by Ron Hill on April 25, 2002, at 12:56:05
In reply to Re: Can extreme agitation be considered mania? » Ron Hill, posted by Cindylou on April 25, 2002, at 4:16:14
Cindy, refresh my memory. You're taking B vitamin supplements, correct? What amounts?
I still think that you are an excellent candidate for a low dose SAM-e trial. But you may need a small amout of a mood stabilizer to go with it. Maybe, some Depakote or maybe return to the low dose of Lamictal. But, beware, this is just my layman's opinion.
-- Ron
----------------------------------> Hi again, Ron.
> I just posted you from another thread and found this one! I suppose I should read all my posts before responding ...
>
> Anyway, like I mentioned in my earlier post, I haven't tried SAM-e since we last discussed it ... I did try the Omega-3s, though, and I was so exhausted for some reason I could barely function. I go back and forth between this extreme agitation, then exhaustion. I'm not sure if it was due to Klonapin (which usually makes me tired at first but then I level out), or perhaps the Omega 3? I have been including too many variables at once.
>
> I suppose if it was the Omega 3 making me tired, and the SAM-e did cause me some anxiety, the two could be a good mix! Who knows?? But I'm going to hold off on anything until meeting with these MD's I told you about on Tuesday.
>
> Thanks for your interest and support!!! It means the world to me.
>
> cindy
Posted by crepuscular on April 25, 2002, at 16:57:08
In reply to Re: Can extreme agitation be considered mania? » crepuscular, posted by Cindylou on April 25, 2002, at 12:14:20
Sure thing! (on Seroquel).
it's one of those "atypical" antipsychotics and my particular pdoc has had good luck with it on bipolar people because of the low side effect profile & efficacy on *both* ends of the disorder. it appears to be the best in this respect of all the new antipsychotics. but everybody is different, so who knows.
sedation is a real side effect, but heck, that's a side effect i really needed. it does fade, but the quality of my sleep has remained great.
subjectively, there is this reduction of intrusive thoughts & feelings, a vast reduction of anger, and in about 2 weeks i was in a totally different space, really able to say "what on earth was i thinking?"
i've tried some anticonvulsants for my mania (both "natural" and AD induced) but have always found them uncomfortable in the sense that i felt like a neurological pillow was squelching my entire normal self. seroquel does not feel this way - which is good. i'm able to write songs and access significant mood ranges without feeling mentally ill. lyrics are more difficult, however, and i have noticed that if i back off the dose my verbal fluency increases.
which should be expected i guess. un-medicated and manic, i feel like a verbal genius (but probably ain't...) medicated i feel like everybody else. which is cool.
i'm afraid to stay on this med for life, and i have noticed some lisping in my speech, which people may find endearing but i fear is sign od bad neurological juju. in May i check back in with the doc to see.
lateer.
Posted by katekite on April 25, 2002, at 17:20:46
In reply to Can extreme agitation be considered mania?, posted by Cindylou on April 24, 2002, at 21:29:46
Hi,
You may have seen me go on about this before, but if not: I was diagnosed as BPII and actually have mild depression and ADD (that part only diagnosed at 30). I had absolutely no idea about the ADD as I did well in school. I'm messy but not extreme. The way I have compensated is to be stressed and worried over everything to the point of serious anxiety. When my ADD is treated, my moodiness and anxiety go completely away because I can finally function, and I am just left with a mild case of the blues.
So I was misdiagnosed by both a university hospital and by a private psychiatrist. My answers on standardized tests didn't quite fit but the "clinical picture" was more important to them.
People who are not bipolar can benefit from the meds. I was repeatedly told it was more important what meds helped than what diagnosis I had. In a way that's true. However, had I not pushed for a diagnosis my husband and I felt fit, I wouldn't have been allowed to even try the one med that is helping me so much now.
Don't mean to ramble. Just wanted to throw in that yes its possible to be misdiagnosed. It was really hard to know for myself what label fit best -- my husband was really helpful in that regard because I would swing with every mood as to what I thought was or wasn't wrong.
kate
Posted by Cindylou on April 25, 2002, at 21:21:24
In reply to Re: Can extreme agitation be considered mania?, posted by katekite on April 25, 2002, at 17:20:46
Hi Kate,
No, I haven't seen your posts before, and I am so glad you responded to mine! You sound so similar to me ... you said ..."I had absolutely no idea about the ADD as I did well in school. I'm messy but not extreme. The way I have compensated is to be stressed and worried over everything to the point of serious anxiety."
That's me, me, me! (Although I may be closer to extreme messiness, and I obsess over the fact that I can't seem to be neater no matter how hard I try.)
I have been diagnosed by one pdoc as having ADD, but about 3 other docs totally disagreed since I am a very good student, can focus well while reading, etc. I still wonder, though, about me having ADD, because in other areas of my life I can't seem to focus or stay motivated on any one task. The docs/therapists who say I don't have ADD attribute this lack of focus to anxiety/depression.
Anyway, I was wondering what meds you are on (if any) and how they are working for you? If you are on a stimulant like Adderall I'm probably out of luck since I crash very hard on all of the stimulants after a few days of feeling great.
Would love to hear more about your meds, experiences, etc.
Thanks!!!
cindy
> Hi,
>
> You may have seen me go on about this before, but if not: I was diagnosed as BPII and actually have mild depression and ADD (that part only diagnosed at 30). When my ADD is treated, my moodiness and anxiety go completely away because I can finally function, and I am just left with a mild case of the blues.
>
> So I was misdiagnosed by both a university hospital and by a private psychiatrist. My answers on standardized tests didn't quite fit but the "clinical picture" was more important to them.
>
> People who are not bipolar can benefit from the meds. I was repeatedly told it was more important what meds helped than what diagnosis I had. In a way that's true. However, had I not pushed for a diagnosis my husband and I felt fit, I wouldn't have been allowed to even try the one med that is helping me so much now.
>
> Don't mean to ramble. Just wanted to throw in that yes its possible to be misdiagnosed. It was really hard to know for myself what label fit best -- my husband was really helpful in that regard because I would swing with every mood as to what I thought was or wasn't wrong.
>
> kate
Posted by rainbowlight on April 26, 2002, at 1:34:40
In reply to Can extreme agitation be considered mania?, posted by Cindylou on April 24, 2002, at 21:29:46
Hi cindylou. I am Bipolar II and I get the agitation also. It confused me too, I always thought I never fit the "manic" mold either. After talking to alot of people on the net, many people just get the agitation and not the mania. I take Lamictal, but I have found that the Zoloft I have just added to my meds has really helped keep the agitation at bay. Maybe you can try a medication that will help with anxiety/agitation. I know how hard it is, it's an awful way to feel. I hope you are feeling better soon.
Posted by katekite on April 26, 2002, at 11:26:44
In reply to Re: Can extreme agitation be considered mania? » katekite, posted by Cindylou on April 25, 2002, at 21:21:24
Yes I'm on a stimulant. Too bad you crash on them after a few days. Have you tried them all? How about a very low dose in combination with a mood stabilizer? I mean obviously IF you are bipolar it is risky, but different ones may have different effects. Even people with ADD would be overstimulated by too high a dose, and everyone is an individual, so there is also the possibility you could have been taking too much?
Since bipolar disorder co-exists with ADD more than would be expected by chance it might be worth it for you to get officially evaluated to rule it out. If you did have ADD and it was able to be treated that would at least solve a component of life's problems. A continuous performance test or TOVA is sort of a fairly objective test -- they say no one thing is diagnostic but official ADD testers use it happily just that way. And have you taken the free quiz at mindfixers.com? Its long and comprehensive.
So far ritalin has really calmed me and made me almost flat, which was probably good. I get the same amount of stuff done, maybe slightly more, but it feels like life is much easier and more normal. The stress over little things is pretty much gone. I am actually trying dexedrine now (want to try them all and pick the best for me) and dexedrine seems more stimulating without quite controlling the inattention (little noises etc are still very annoying, but I feel mentally a bit perked up.). I might just need a higher dose of it, don't know. I feel like if I took a higher dose I might have that bad 'too much energy' feeling. Of course these days I have no idea how I am really 'supposed' to feel.
I was shocked to find I have ADD. I got good grades in college and grad school. I wasn't hyper at all. I was bored a bunch but teachers always put that down to me being bright and needing harder work. Although I hate hard work, LOL. When in school I kept my life pretty much under control although I was often anxious and depressed, was a flake, etc. I was not that much messier than my male friends, but worse than most women, that's for sure. In retrospect I was able to keep my life in order because I had a lot of outside structure, deadlines etc, and not much personal responsibility.
It was really only after we moved and bought a house and I quit working outside the home that my life really went to crap. I was just unable to organize myself and keep to any good schedule unless I was in a good mood. Occasionally I'd get up and do everything I wanted but mostly not. Other people can apparently plod along even in a bad mood, and I just threw up my hands and felt overwhelmed. Like I couldn't manage to keep my laundry clean and I would clean my cat's litter box every day for 5 days and then 2 weeks later realize I hadn't cleaned it only when the poor cat went somewhere besides the box. I was so frustrated with myself for not being responsible. I had always put this type of on-off organizational/responsible/irresponsible behavior down to stress at work/school, depression, etc, but I finally had nothing to blame it on but me. I wasn't even depressed, just kind of not very good at life. I had never been to a shrink when I was in a good mood because as soon as I felt ok I would cancel appointments, seeing no need to go. But finally I realized even when in a good mood that life wasn't what I'd hoped for, like I had taken all stress out, and things still seemed more frustrating than they should be. A couple friends have kids and I just couldn't even imagine being able to have a kid! What if they need something but I am tired? Or what if they cry and won't stop -- that would be very irritating. With my dog he can sit there and ask to go out for an hour before I'll finally get around to it and that would not be good with a child. I have lost my temper with my pets too and that would be really really bad with a human child, I feel bad enough having swatted the dog for really nothing except making noise. So here I was supposedly bright and capable having got good grades. But life itself seemed really hard.
I'm glad I pursued diagnosis. I suppose I may in a year start to "cycle" and it might turn out I need a mood stabilizer -- there's no way to know for sure, since I do have a history of intermittent depression.
Not all people with ADD do well with stimulants. Wellbutrin (I did terrible with it) is supposed to help some. Also atmoxetine is a new ADD drug, non-stimulant, supposed to come out this year. I also found maois to be helpful, probably because they help dopamine as well.
good luck. If you take the mindfixers quiz let me know what it says.
kate
Posted by Cindylou on April 26, 2002, at 16:48:01
In reply to add, long » Cindylou, posted by katekite on April 26, 2002, at 11:26:44
Thanks, Kate, for this great post.
I've tried many stimulants -- Adderall, Ritilin, Wellbutrin, Provigil, Adrafinil ... and all on extremely low doses (because I am extremely med-sensitive). For example, I was taking 2.5 mg. of Adderall -- which really worked!!! I thought I had found the answer to my prayers, until about 4 days later when I crashed so hard I could barely function. Exhausted, sick, hungover-feeling. I thought maybe I needed more, but that only made me feel worse. This same thing happened with the other stims I tried (and I tried them all at about 1/4 of the normal dose). I recently asked my pdoc about trying Dexedrine, but she said it would just have the same effect on me as all the others.
Thanks for the tip on "mindfixers.com" I am very excited to check it out!! It would be cheaper and easier than seeing another pdoc right now, although I know that eventually I need to get another opinion -- probably from someone kind of famous!
Yes, your worries about having kids are well-founded. I have a 2 1/2 year old, who I love more than life itself, but IT IS TOUGH. Most days, I am able to care for her and love her and be patient beyond my normal capacity simply out of sheer love. But there are a few days (like the day I tried Nortrip.) where I had ZERO patience. She is quite a challenge anyway, and she knows how to push my buttons very well, and I am usually able to stay pretty calm (on the outside, while falling apart on the inside). But the other day I was not calm. I didn't go crazy, but I succumbed to the shame game: "You need to listen to Mommy!! Why are you being so mean to Mommy?! Why won't you cooperate with me?" etc. etc. It just made things worse, really. I felt like I was acting like the child. Thank God the next day I was feeling better, after getting that Nortip out of my system.
Now we are struggling with the question of if we should have another baby ... I hate to have our daughter be an only child. I feel like another baby could balance things out for both my daughter and me ... but then there's the issue of meds, and all that other stuff.
Anyway, I'm getting off the subject here. I really apprecite your responses to my posts, and your sharing your experiences with me. Your post makes me think that I'm probably not ADD -- I forgot about the part where noises in the background can really distract someone with ADD. I can totally tune out any kind of noise. My husband has ADD and can't believe that I don't notice certain noises going on.
Well, I'll stop rambling, and I'll keep you posted on how the "mindfixers" quiz turns out!
Thanks again, Kate,
cindy> Yes I'm on a stimulant. Too bad you crash on them after a few days. Have you tried them all? How about a very low dose in combination with a mood stabilizer? I mean obviously IF you are bipolar it is risky, but different ones may have different effects. Even people with ADD would be overstimulated by too high a dose, and everyone is an individual, so there is also the possibility you could have been taking too much?
>
> Since bipolar disorder co-exists with ADD more than would be expected by chance it might be worth it for you to get officially evaluated to rule it out. If you did have ADD and it was able to be treated that would at least solve a component of life's problems. A continuous performance test or TOVA is sort of a fairly objective test -- they say no one thing is diagnostic but official ADD testers use it happily just that way. And have you taken the free quiz at mindfixers.com? Its long and comprehensive.
>
> So far ritalin has really calmed me and made me almost flat, which was probably good. I get the same amount of stuff done, maybe slightly more, but it feels like life is much easier and more normal. The stress over little things is pretty much gone. I am actually trying dexedrine now (want to try them all and pick the best for me) and dexedrine seems more stimulating without quite controlling the inattention (little noises etc are still very annoying, but I feel mentally a bit perked up.). I might just need a higher dose of it, don't know. I feel like if I took a higher dose I might have that bad 'too much energy' feeling. Of course these days I have no idea how I am really 'supposed' to feel.
>
> I was shocked to find I have ADD. I got good grades in college and grad school. I wasn't hyper at all. I was bored a bunch but teachers always put that down to me being bright and needing harder work. Although I hate hard work, LOL. When in school I kept my life pretty much under control although I was often anxious and depressed, was a flake, etc. I was not that much messier than my male friends, but worse than most women, that's for sure. In retrospect I was able to keep my life in order because I had a lot of outside structure, deadlines etc, and not much personal responsibility.
>
> It was really only after we moved and bought a house and I quit working outside the home that my life really went to crap. I was just unable to organize myself and keep to any good schedule unless I was in a good mood. Occasionally I'd get up and do everything I wanted but mostly not. Other people can apparently plod along even in a bad mood, and I just threw up my hands and felt overwhelmed. Like I couldn't manage to keep my laundry clean and I would clean my cat's litter box every day for 5 days and then 2 weeks later realize I hadn't cleaned it only when the poor cat went somewhere besides the box. I was so frustrated with myself for not being responsible. I had always put this type of on-off organizational/responsible/irresponsible behavior down to stress at work/school, depression, etc, but I finally had nothing to blame it on but me. I wasn't even depressed, just kind of not very good at life. I had never been to a shrink when I was in a good mood because as soon as I felt ok I would cancel appointments, seeing no need to go. But finally I realized even when in a good mood that life wasn't what I'd hoped for, like I had taken all stress out, and things still seemed more frustrating than they should be. A couple friends have kids and I just couldn't even imagine being able to have a kid! What if they need something but I am tired? Or what if they cry and won't stop -- that would be very irritating. With my dog he can sit there and ask to go out for an hour before I'll finally get around to it and that would not be good with a child. I have lost my temper with my pets too and that would be really really bad with a human child, I feel bad enough having swatted the dog for really nothing except making noise. So here I was supposedly bright and capable having got good grades. But life itself seemed really hard.
>
> I'm glad I pursued diagnosis. I suppose I may in a year start to "cycle" and it might turn out I need a mood stabilizer -- there's no way to know for sure, since I do have a history of intermittent depression.
>
> Not all people with ADD do well with stimulants. Wellbutrin (I did terrible with it) is supposed to help some. Also atmoxetine is a new ADD drug, non-stimulant, supposed to come out this year. I also found maois to be helpful, probably because they help dopamine as well.
>
> good luck. If you take the mindfixers quiz let me know what it says.
>
> kate
Posted by Cindylou on April 28, 2002, at 18:56:09
In reply to add, long » Cindylou, posted by katekite on April 26, 2002, at 11:26:44
... It didn't dx me as bipolar. But almost everything else! "inattentive ADD", major depression, OCD, and generalized anxiety disorder.
Man, I am a mess! And on no real med treatment right now.
It was a great screening tool -- very thorough. I'm glad you recommended it to me. I am going to show it to my pdoc tomorrow -- it confirmed my suspicions that I'm not bipolar.
The agitation + fatigue, I believe, is from the major depression + anxiety...
Perhpas a mood stabilizer can still help, though?
Thanks again, Kate,
cindy> good luck. If you take the mindfixers quiz let me know what it says.
>
> kate
This is the end of the thread.
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