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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Sandi on January 19, 2000, at 6:30:17
suffering from add since i was a child Now 22 yrs of age and Just finding out about having might Have Attention Deficit Disorder > How my family and friends don't understand ? help Sandi
Posted by Stacy on January 19, 2000, at 10:30:06
In reply to A.D.D, posted by Sandi on January 19, 2000, at 6:30:17
> suffering from add since i was a child Now 22 yrs of age and Just finding out about having might Have Attention Deficit Disorder > How my family and friends don't understand ? help Sandi
Hi Sandi!
I was diagnosed with ADHD about 5 (going on 6) years ago at the age of 41, by a psychologist in my area who specialzed in ADD/ADHD. I always knew that something was wrong, but thought I had a character flaw, or was just a "bad seed." It wasn't until observing the same characteristics in my son for many years (he was diagnosed at a very young age), that I realized I had the same problem.When I was a child, little was known about the disorder; so I was mis-diagnosed & given a high dose of tranquilizers - about the worst thing that can be done! I became much worse, in fact. Finally, one of the younger doctors had the common sense to see that something wasn't right, & weaned me off of them at age 18. I managed to graduate from high school, & was able to compensate & hyper-focus well enough to get through jr. college & transfer on to get a bachelor's degree after 5 long years! Unfortunately, because my parents had been told by a guidance counselor that I wasn't "college material," I had never received adequate preparational counseling with regard to occupation. After graduating college I substitute taught a little bit, & was always underemployed because I had chosen the wrong field of study in which to get my degree. Since my parents had never saved for my education, I sort of worked my way through & aquired student loans. Therefore, becoming a professional student,& going back to school to persue something else was not practical for me. So that's my story!
I believe that medication is very important, because this is essentially a physical problem. After you are diagnosed, your family physician can prescribe what is best for you. Since I had an allergic reaction to the stimulant medications prescribed for my ADHD (this happens very rarely), I began experimenting with natural supplements. However, this does not work for everyone. Have you been ofically diagnosed yet? If not, I would inquire about a psychologist (PHd), or social worker (M.S. degree), who has knowledge about ADD/ADHD (they can also do your follow-up counseling, if they think it is necessary). Do you have a family physician? He or she might be able to help you choose someone. Also, there is a national organization/support group called C.H.A.D.D., for children & adults with ADD/ADHD. If there is one in your area, they can be of great help. There are also many resources online that you can check out (just type "A.D.D." into your search engine.) I have encountered several terrific people on this message board who are in the same boat as you & I, & their advice & support has been an enormous help. There are many good books regarding ADD/ADHD; those written by Dr. Ned Hallowell have been of great assistance to me.
Last, but not least, try to keep in mind that this is a medical problem & not a defect in your character. I think many of us have baggage & damaged self esteem that comes from not being correctly diagnosed soon enough(or not diagnosed at all.) As much as we love our families & friends, many people don't understand what it is like to have ADD or ADHD (I was fortunate enough to have family members who eventually gained knowledge & awareness about it, but it was rough for the first 40 years!) I would encourage you to seek out others who, themselves, have the disorder for support. I, also, will be here if you need help.
Good luck, Sandi, & keep me posted on how things work out for you. Take care!
Stacy
Posted by Noa on January 19, 2000, at 18:33:00
In reply to Re: A.D.D, posted by Stacy on January 19, 2000, at 10:30:06
I would just add, too, that identifying the areas in your life that are affected by the ADHD (with or without hyperactivity, by the way) can be helpful. SOmetimes medication can adequately address these effects, but often it helps, in addition to medicine, to learn strategies for dealing with aspects of your life that are hard because of the ADHD. These could include therapy, or coaching on organization, information processing, legal rights for accommodations, especially if you are a student, communication with others, professionally or socially, etc.
Posted by Stacy on January 21, 2000, at 12:26:17
In reply to Re: A.D.D, posted by Noa on January 19, 2000, at 18:33:00
> I would just add, too, that identifying the areas in your life that are affected by the ADHD (with or without hyperactivity, by the way) can be helpful. SOmetimes medication can adequately address these effects, but often it helps, in addition to medicine, to learn strategies for dealing with aspects of your life that are hard because of the ADHD. These could include therapy, or coaching on organization, information processing, legal rights for accommodations, especially if you are a student, communication with others, professionally or socially, etc.
This is very good advice, Noa. I was fortunate to find a CHADD organization in my communtiy after my son was diagnosed, & also found a wonderful counselor (who, herself, had ADD) after my own diagnosis.
Posted by Barbara on January 26, 2000, at 0:34:19
In reply to Re: A.D.D (Noa), posted by Stacy on January 21, 2000, at 12:26:17
I was diagnosed with ADD two years ago at the age of 51! Now that is what I call a rude awakening! The medication (Dexedrine and Celexa with Cytomel and Wellbutrin for good measure) helps measurably. But no matter how well the meds work you still have many symptoms of ADD which go unchecked by meds.
Has my life changed since the diagnosis - oh yes! And do any of my friends or my children understant whad a trauma it was in my life and to find that I hsd learning disabilities was an added blow. It has been a rather lonely struggle and I find myself withdrawing more and more as I become more aware of symptoms and I dont want to be around people all the time. But you adapt yourself to your environment and then it is so much easier, I am a paralegal and the law is a most unforgiving and unforgiving career. However I can see the difference in my work product and so I am more hopeful.
May I ask all of you a question? Do you tell your employer, coworkers or friends about your ADD. If you do what is the response - my friends wont believe it - and if you point out a symptom to them they say - well everyone does that! -- oh yea? Thanks.
b.
Posted by S. Suggs on January 26, 2000, at 3:00:54
In reply to Re: A.D.D (Noa), posted by Barbara on January 26, 2000, at 0:34:19
Hello Barbara: I myself have ADD-H and when I was working I felt it was none of their business, besides, you cannot understand how it feels unless you actually have it. The rest of the "normal" world places us in a box together and lables us as hyperactice or lazy. It's total gross ignorance on their part, and may not be their fault, but you are in control of this one. It may depend on your co-workers and how well you trust them, but chances are, the more you tell, the greater the chance someone will talk. These type of issues have the potential to raise some eyebrows at higher management, and not with a positive outlook. I could be way off (I am many times), just be careful in your decision. Best of luck and blessings,
S. Suggs
Posted by Noa on January 26, 2000, at 7:26:20
In reply to Re: A.D.D (Noa), posted by S. Suggs on January 26, 2000, at 3:00:54
Paralegal? I would think that would be one of the hardest professions for someone with ADD! All that detail, and information processing. Wow. You deserve a lot of credit.
Telling your employer? Have to be very careful. My first question is: why do you want to tell them? What do you hope will be the outcome of telling them?
Posted by Stacy on January 26, 2000, at 11:11:48
In reply to Re: A.D.D (Noa), posted by Barbara on January 26, 2000, at 0:34:19
> I was diagnosed with ADD two years ago at the age of 51! Now that is what I call a rude awakening! The medication (Dexedrine and Celexa with Cytomel and Wellbutrin for good measure) helps measurably. But no matter how well the meds work you still have many symptoms of ADD which go unchecked by meds.
>
> Has my life changed since the diagnosis - oh yes! And do any of my friends or my children understant whad a trauma it was in my life and to find that I hsd learning disabilities was an added blow. It has been a rather lonely struggle and I find myself withdrawing more and more as I become more aware of symptoms and I dont want to be around people all the time. But you adapt yourself to your environment and then it is so much easier, I am a paralegal and the law is a most unforgiving and unforgiving career. However I can see the difference in my work product and so I am more hopeful.
>
> May I ask all of you a question? Do you tell your employer, coworkers or friends about your ADD. If you do what is the response - my friends wont believe it - and if you point out a symptom to them they say - well everyone does that! -- oh yea? Thanks.
>
> b.Barbara-
When I was first diagnosed, it was more or less
a relief. For the first time in my life I knew what was wrong with me, & that I wasn't just a bad person. I wanted to go & tell the world -make people aware, & pave the way for others with the disorder so they wouldn't have to suffer like I had. I wish I could tell you it had been a wonderful experience. Unfortunately, there are a lot of nay-sayers out there! People who don't have it do not realize that though they may make mistakes now & then, a person with ADD/ADHD lives every minute this way! As someone else with ADHD related, it's like being put into a dark room without a flashlight, with objects you could trip on strewn all over the place. Everyone else gets a flashlight, but you trip around the room, bumping into everything & falling down. When you finally learn the layout of the room, you're moved into a new one; & it it begins all over again. Also, ADD/ADD-H isn't tangible. Those who have it look just like everyone else, are intelligent, etc.; but we act differently (especially when we're not on medications, etc.) People who don't have it often believe we're choosing to act that way. Before I was diagnosed (& treated the physical aspect of it, as well), I would do things that seemed to annoy others: i.e. I'd constantly interupt people & not even realize it, miss key phrases of what people said (which would be interpreted as intentionally not listening to them), blurt things out, "talk to think", etc. I honestly could not help it; but no one seemed to believe that. Worse yet, when I finally found out what was wrong, did something about it, & let people know what the problem was, I found out that many didn't believe it was even a real disorder! Instead of viewing it as a physical brain (neurotransmitter) problem, most saw it as an excuse instead of an explanation. I think S. Suggs summed it up well - those people haven't walked in our shoes & don't know what it feels like to have it. So be careful who you confide in. Many of us have learned the hard way that what you say may be used against you.Good luck, Barbara - I hope all goes well for you! Please keep us apprised; & remember, we're here for you. Take care!
Stacy
Posted by maribeth on October 11, 2001, at 18:39:19
In reply to Re: A.D.D. (To Barbara) , posted by Stacy on January 26, 2000, at 11:11:48
> > I was diagnosed with ADD two years ago at the age of 51! Now that is what I call a rude awakening! The medication (Dexedrine and Celexa with Cytomel and Wellbutrin for good measure) helps measurably. But no matter how well the meds work you still have many symptoms of ADD which go unchecked by meds.
> >
> > Has my life changed since the diagnosis - oh yes! And do any of my friends or my children understant whad a trauma it was in my life and to find that I hsd learning disabilities was an added blow. It has been a rather lonely struggle and I find myself withdrawing more and more as I become more aware of symptoms and I dont want to be around people all the time. But you adapt yourself to your environment and then it is so much easier, I am a paralegal and the law is a most unforgiving and unforgiving career. However I can see the difference in my work product and so I am more hopeful.
> >
> > May I ask all of you a question? Do you tell your employer, coworkers or friends about your ADD. If you do what is the response - my friends wont believe it - and if you point out a symptom to them they say - well everyone does that! -- oh yea? Thanks.
> >
> > b.
>
> Barbara-
>
> When I was first diagnosed, it was more or less
> a relief. For the first time in my life I knew what was wrong with me, & that I wasn't just a bad person. I wanted to go & tell the world -make people aware, & pave the way for others with the disorder so they wouldn't have to suffer like I had. I wish I could tell you it had been a wonderful experience. Unfortunately, there are a lot of nay-sayers out there! People who don't have it do not realize that though they may make mistakes now & then, a person with ADD/ADHD lives every minute this way! As someone else with ADHD related, it's like being put into a dark room without a flashlight, with objects you could trip on strewn all over the place. Everyone else gets a flashlight, but you trip around the room, bumping into everything & falling down. When you finally learn the layout of the room, you're moved into a new one; & it it begins all over again. Also, ADD/ADD-H isn't tangible. Those who have it look just like everyone else, are intelligent, etc.; but we act differently (especially when we're not on medications, etc.) People who don't have it often believe we're choosing to act that way. Before I was diagnosed (& treated the physical aspect of it, as well), I would do things that seemed to annoy others: i.e. I'd constantly interupt people & not even realize it, miss key phrases of what people said (which would be interpreted as intentionally not listening to them), blurt things out, "talk to think", etc. I honestly could not help it; but no one seemed to believe that. Worse yet, when I finally found out what was wrong, did something about it, & let people know what the problem was, I found out that many didn't believe it was even a real disorder! Instead of viewing it as a physical brain (neurotransmitter) problem, most saw it as an excuse instead of an explanation. I think S. Suggs summed it up well - those people haven't walked in our shoes & don't know what it feels like to have it. So be careful who you confide in. Many of us have learned the hard way that what you say may be used against you.
>
> Good luck, Barbara - I hope all goes well for you! Please keep us apprised; & remember, we're here for you. Take care!
>
> Stacy
Stacy,Barbara et al,
Please hang on! you have no idea what it was like for me when I was diagnosed some fifteen years ago -- people just laughed. And then when I was prescribed Ritalin and Prozac I was called a "speed freek and junkie" even by my own husband!
Even though for the first time in my life I could think straight and plan one thing at a time. I got so bad that I was forced to give up the medication! Sometimes I dream and remember those days when things where so "clear" -- may you havedays like that. Marbeth
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