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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by allisonm on January 8, 2006, at 17:23:50
Just wondering how things are.
alli
Posted by shar on January 19, 2006, at 19:04:02
In reply to Hey Shar, posted by allisonm on January 8, 2006, at 17:23:50
Allison,
How sweet and kind of you to ask. Well, the other night when I was Googling cyanide and nicotine and other substances, I was worse than I am right this moment. But, not by much. (The problem with the suicide sites are, at least statistically, they're all written by LIVING people...which means, they haven't tried it and are reporting their actual experience.) Feeble humor attempt.I'm still here. Some BIG good things and some BIG bad things all happening now...for years. It's hard to balance, and my focus, of course, is the BIG bad things.
I think I'll be around a while longer. Thanks for wondering.
And, how are YOU???
Shar
Posted by allisonm on January 21, 2006, at 13:32:44
In reply to Re: Hey Shar » allisonm, posted by shar on January 19, 2006, at 19:04:02
Shar,
I'm sorry to hear that things still feel bad. I hope the big good things can win over the big bad ones.
I was hoping you wouldn't ask me about me. I'm feeling very badly. Lots of loss, grief and sadness lately, coupled with loneliness. Everything feels hard.
Posted by Kath on January 27, 2006, at 18:59:43
In reply to Re: Hey Shar » shar, posted by allisonm on January 21, 2006, at 13:32:44
So sorry you two are feeling crappy.
Shar, your humour (grim though it may be) always amazes me! :-)
My thoughts go out to you both & hope that things turn around soon....or at least that you're both able to feel better.
hugs, Kath
Posted by shar on January 29, 2006, at 0:13:47
In reply to Re: Hey Shar Ali, posted by Kath on January 27, 2006, at 18:59:43
Get outta here!! Nah, that was just an image I saw on a website when I was trying to get into a restricted area...a caveman with a stick...pretty funny.
It is good to see you both. This is one of the places I can truly be myself.
So, Allisonm...yes, I AM wondering how you are, what's going on, why you stood me up last Thursday, and how you are!?!
Do tell, please. If you are not in a good place, well, I guess this is the place to be (I think that would be a great slogan for this site).
Please let me know how you are.
Shar[ok, she did not stand me up last Thursday. I just said that to make our lives sound interesting.]
Posted by allisonm on January 30, 2006, at 15:58:55
In reply to Hey! You! Ali and Kath!, posted by shar on January 29, 2006, at 0:13:47
Geez, you scared me there Shar. My addled brain was saying: "Thursday? What Thursday? What have I forgotten now?!?"
Things are feeling better. They always do eventually. I wish I could remember that when I'm feeling bad.
Two weeks ago I had surgery in three places on my back and backside to remove more tissue after a biopsy of 3 out of four moles came back as unusual. I don't want melanoma so I said OK. I got 12 stitches in the process -- all in strategic places so that bra straps and waistbands were pretty painful. But, I get the stitches out tomorrow 18 hours from now. Yes, I am counting.
Also, I lost a kitty in mid-December to Feline Infectious Peritonitis, an incurable, insipid wasting disease. Then two weeks ago, the day after I got those stitches my 10-year-old kitty Rosebud had an asthma attack and died quite unexpectedly. My oldest kitty had just gotten out of the hospital b/c of an upper respiratory thing that he got from two new kitties I adopted from the shelter the day that I had the moles taken off (four weeks ago).
That was the week from hell. Stitches Tuesday, Rosebud dies Wednesday, my neighbor's Schnauzer got hit by a car in front of my house Thursday night and I rushed him to the emergency vet but he was too injured and owners euthanized him. Friday I accidentally killed my last surviving fish by setting a rock on him while cleaning the aquarium. When I checked to see what he was doing a few hours later, I found him dead under the rock.
Another loss is that I pretty much have broken up with my boyfriend of 4 years. On the day after Christmas of all days. We still talk on the phone now and then but I feel sad and lonely. Hence the adoption of more cats. I'm feeling pretty needy and pathetic.
At least the weather has been warmer and the sun has come out more lately.
Posted by allisonm on January 30, 2006, at 16:17:41
In reply to Re: Hey! You! Ali and Kath! » shar, posted by allisonm on January 30, 2006, at 15:58:55
I should have added that the breakup is a result of his insistence that I stop taking antidepressants.
Posted by Kath on January 30, 2006, at 20:55:25
In reply to addendum, posted by allisonm on January 30, 2006, at 16:17:41
Jeez Shar - you had me feeling left out as to the Thursday thing - "oh dear - maybe they were going to chatting somewhere" - isn't it pathetic that I'm capable of feeling left out in circumstances like that!?
Oh Alli - what a horrible week for you!!! In the summer Jay's little cat died from what they felt was FIP also. The vet kept insisting that I force-feed her just in case she could pull through....that otherwise she'd get fatty liver disease from not getting enough food. I was feeding her with an eyedropper (force-feeding, I might say) & it was AWFULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. She'd eat what I pushed into her mouth & then look at me mournfully & eventually weakly put her little paw up to push away my hand - I get teary just thinking about it. She was a cat who loved to go outside & during her long illness, she'd lie out the front in the sun. I felt so mean force-feeding her, but I was "working" with my own vet & another one who does homeopathic medicine & has been very successful. So force-feed I did. BUT even now I feel awful. Part of me wanted to just let Kali be in peace. It still hurts alot & I feel guilty.
Alli that's a LOT to go through at all & to have it telescoped into one week is awful.
(((((((((((((((((((((you)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hugs to you both, Kath
Posted by allisonm on January 30, 2006, at 21:25:17
In reply to Re: addendum Shar Alli, posted by Kath on January 30, 2006, at 20:55:25
Yes I know what you mean with FIP. Jasper decided to live with me in mid-June. He just came up on my side porch one night...very charming. I could have sworn that he wasn't a cat. He seemed more intuitive, empathetic, knowing. He was very thin and bony, but he ate a lot and started gaining weight. Then he slowed down in his eating. Also, he was a little unsteady on his feet. By November I had to force-feed him too with special food. Then with high-calorie goop. He hated it and cried every time I picked him up to feed him because he knew what I was going to do. We did all sorts of tests and while no test can definitively diagnose FIP, everything seemed to point to it. Finally by mid-December he was missing the litter box. I could tolerate that, but then he started having trouble walking and moving around. I finally had to put him to sleep. I hate FIP. It's a horrible disease.
Don't feel guilty. You did as much as you could
Posted by Shar on February 4, 2006, at 14:18:03
In reply to Re: addendum Shar Alli, posted by Kath on January 30, 2006, at 20:55:25
Wow!! I totally, double agree that you went through at least Hell Week and maybe Hell Fortnight! I am so very sad to hear about your breakup (tho'confidentially, just between the 28 of us reading this post, if your sweetie wants you off meds, I'm not sure he has your best interest at heart--and a good partner DOES!). I understand feeling lonely and sad, even knowing it might have been the right thing. You have my sympathy; lonely and sad sucks.
And, stitches in all the wrong places...and your kitties...and the doggie. It's too much! You must be an extremely strong, capable, lovable person to have handled all that without just crashing! I am a total dog person, and don't know too much about cats, but I know how loving animals can get us through the hard times.
About all this guilt...I've experienced it as well. A different issue, but the same feeling. I think we do the best we can, and the most important thing is to follow our hearts and instincts. As a hospice volunteer, there is no shame in a sweet peaceful death. As, there is no shame in taking reasonable steps to try to pull a kitty through an illness. However, I don't think the vet should be the ultimate expert, because docs of all kinds take a different approach than our hearts and instincts say is right.
So--guilt. Don't go there. I know it's hard, and I still weep at the loss of my sweet Scruffles, and berate myself that if I'd caught on sooner, she might have made it, etc. But, really--no, she would not have; or if she had, her quality of life would have been awful. And, I'm all about quality of life.
So, you two--STOP IT! You did your best, you did something VERY hard for you, you did it in the best interest of a loved one. That makes y'all Good People. And, there's no guilt in being a good, loving, person doing their best.
And, I mean it.
When I die, I'm planning on going to Doggie Heaven, which is probably very close to Kitty Heaven, so maybe I'll see you there. In the meantime, Scruffles (who lived with kitties) will check on them, and comfort them until they are ok again. And, she'll check on the neighbor's pup, as well.
Now that I sound completely nuts, I'll sign off with love and sympathy to you both, and good wishes and good luck, as well.
Oh--Kath, lol, I might have felt the same way about the Thursday thing. I was just trying to make it sound like I had a life and get Ali's attention.
xoxo
Shar
Posted by allisonm on February 5, 2006, at 17:01:48
In reply to Re: addendum Kath Alli, posted by Shar on February 4, 2006, at 14:18:03
Those were really really kind words. I have no doubt that doggie and kitty heaven are next door to each other, so you and I can talk over the fence when we get there.
You aren't crazy, I am. I have signed myself up to help in a neuter/spay clinic for feral and stray cats that my vet runs every Wednesday and for a neuter/spay/anything else clinic at the city animal shelter every Thursday (that's my vet's day to work there). I fill syringes with rabies and distemper vaccines, I know how to prep for surgery (shave fur, scrub, tie down, hold the mouth open for intubation, hold for neutering and for anesthesia shots, and recovery stuff too). I am finding it very rewarding and it also expands my shrinking world.
Posted by Kath on February 5, 2006, at 17:18:27
In reply to FIP » Kath, posted by allisonm on January 30, 2006, at 21:25:17
Hi Alli - Jasper's arrival sounds like my current cat, Ginger's arrival. Only it was October or November. I'd put an empty cardboard box on the front porch under a small table, put blankies inside & draped a towel as a partial door so that Kali (Jay's cat who died of FIP we think), who loved outside & sometimes hadn't come in at bedtime, could cosy herself. Instead, a long-haired, fluffy Ginger cat landed there, meowing as I patted him & being very loving. Isn't it interesting how they find us (I think they're meant to be specifically with US so they find us). Can't remember if I told the story of Ginger or not. The cat of many names, Ginger-cat, Ghengie-Khan, Ginjoo, Gingivitis, Bingle-bongle, My-little-savage, Bumblebee, Pingle-pongle, The Ceasar, My-little-wonderbird, to name a few!!!!!!!!! Does anyone else give their animals numerous & crazy names?
Alli - I sure sympathize. Isn't FIP awful?! And half the difficult part is NOT knowing what's wrong. Pretty bad when the tests can give false negatives AND false positives.
We have both my original cat, Tammy, and Kali, along with numerous lizards, buried in the backyard. I made a lovely flower-garden over them.
Hugs to you Alli, love, Kath
Posted by Kath on February 5, 2006, at 17:24:19
In reply to Thanks, Shar, posted by allisonm on February 5, 2006, at 17:01:48
Alli - that is amazing & great experience; wonder if you'd ever get work at a vet's office (if you wanted to).
Can't remember if you're working in the field of your studies. Do you realize how amazing you are to have gone back to school (no matter what comes afterwards)?
I hope you have not only computer-friends, but also 'in life' ones who you can talk with and spend time with if you want to.
Hugs, Kath
Posted by allisonm on February 6, 2006, at 9:55:06
In reply to Re: Thanks, Shar - Alli, posted by Kath on February 5, 2006, at 17:24:19
No, it was never my field of study. When I was in high school I wanted to be a vet but gave up the idea because I hated chemistry and was not fond of math. I also didn't think I could stand watching animals suffer.
I was good in English so I chose journalism instead. Before I wanted to be a vet I wanted to be a florist, hence the master's in horticulture.
Currently I am working at the family boat marina. It's OK, but my dad and I don't see eye-to-eye on most things and I get very frustrated. I also just finished my first freelance article for a regional gardening magazine. And I am starting to get inquiries on photos from my website on perennials I did while back at school.
Posted by Kath on February 6, 2006, at 21:22:36
In reply to Re: Thanks, Shar - Alli » Kath, posted by allisonm on February 6, 2006, at 9:55:06
> Currently I am working at the family boat marina. It's OK, but my dad and I don't see eye-to-eye on most things and I get very frustrated.
***********That sounds frustrating indeed, however Yay about the freelance article & the website bit. Maybe that will expand so that you can be doing more in the area that you like.******Today we got about 17 inches of snow!!!!!!! Lovely fluffy, puffy, light snow. It look SO pretty. If it's winter, it might as well at least LOOK nice, not like it has for so much of the winter, with the rain melting all the snow & everything looking gray & brown & yukky. Now all we need is a bit of sun (oh my god what does that word mean?!) for a change.
hugs, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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