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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Shar on November 2, 2004, at 22:44:49
So very sorry!
All of my above posts are examples of what happens when I'm depressed, panicky, tired, etc. and try to be supportive.
I very much apologize if info wasn't helpful. And, I'm still glad to hear that people are eating and thinking on their own!
Hoping everyone is doing better than I,
xoxo
Shar
Posted by Noa on November 3, 2004, at 5:07:44
In reply to That's what happens...., posted by Shar on November 2, 2004, at 22:44:49
I'm not sure I understand what you're apologizing for, but I'm glad to see you! Hope you're feeling a bit better now.
I've been having on and off days with feeling like I'm depressed and/or anxious. Work is chaotic and stressful and I feel like I might start to really drown there. I'm not an organized person and don't multi task efficiently at all, but the job requires it and there is just too much to do and we're always in crisis mode which is a ridiculous way to run the place. Everyone is stressed and overwhelmed (even the couple of calm people that I usually turn to to help contain my own sense of it all being out of control). And then we have these time-wasting meetings where the manager seems to be fumbling around blindfolded, bringing up the same old ideas we've discussed a million times before and decided against, and we go through the same old decision over again. AARGH!!!
Posted by Shar on November 4, 2004, at 17:16:08
In reply to Re: That's what happens.... » Shar, posted by Noa on November 3, 2004, at 5:07:44
Hi, Noa,
Mainly, I was making an effort to be supportive and ended up being self-absorbed in my own story, and wagging my parental finger at people to take care of themselves. Probably because I had to stop therapy and don't get to be self-absorbed much anymore; but still, not ok in my book.I can totally relate to living/working in crisis mode and how frustrating it is. I don't think it's very healthy, either. And, I don't even know what multi-tasking IS. If it's another name for doing 10 things at once, then I think that's pretty impossible!
Do you have other job options? Do you love anything about this job?
Don't drown! (See, there's that parental finger-wagging!)
xoxo
Shar
Posted by Noa on November 4, 2004, at 18:23:55
In reply to Re: That's what happens.... » Noa, posted by Shar on November 4, 2004, at 17:16:08
Yeah, there are things I like about this job. Also, I'm not feeling like I could undertake a job search as yet one more thing to do in addition to everything else, and I don't think I can afford to take the risk of leaving a job before having a new one. I'm gonna hang in there a while longer.
I have to say it didn't help that a number of people were quite distraught about elections. I myself had just tried to dissociate from it all (after voting) because I don't have the mental/emotional energy to really think about it. I went to bed early, without watching the coverage of the returns, and when I went to work the next day, I knew it was still undecided and then just didn't pay direct attention to it at all. But people were wanting to talk about it and some people were crying. So it became yet one more thing to try to stay clear of in order to keep from getting overwhelmed.
Today, I wish I had said something right away to deal with an interaction that really bothered me. A kind of whiny fellow employee (different department, but we have to collaborate on some projects) wanted to engage me in rehashing some stuff talked about at a meeting yesterday. Besides the fact that I would not want to have this conversation with her anyway, I was in the middle of about 100 different things and was in transit from one office to another, feeling stressed already. She kind of cornered me. I tried to just kind of give a quick response and excuse myself, and when I started to move away, she actually got hold of my shirt sleeve between her thumb and finger to kind of pull on me so I would stay and listen to her. I pulled myself free without addressing this directly, she said one more thing and I told her I really have to go do something and left. When I got back to my office, a close colleague saw that I was not happy and asked me about it and I vented to him. Then, getting busy with the rest of the day, I kind of forgot about it. But I brought it up in therapy tonight and realized how annoyed I am and wish that I had said something to address it right then.
I guess this happens sometimes, that all I want is to get out of a situation as fast as I can and if the other person gets even more intrusive with boundaries, I should call attention to it and set limits, but don't even think of doing that because I'm just h---bent on getting outta there.
Also, I think having someone tug on my shirt to hold me there is not the kind of thing I'm prepared for because it is pretty unexpected (being highly inappropriate office behavior!).
So now the question is whether I need to say something to her about it. I should have just dealt with it right away because the last thing I need now is to initiate another interaction with her.
Posted by coral on November 5, 2004, at 12:38:33
In reply to That's what happens...., posted by Shar on November 2, 2004, at 22:44:49
Aw, sweetie, I'm so sorry things aren't perking up for you. (Isn't "perking" an annoying word?)
okay...... so, I'm so sorry things aren't as you'd have them be!
Hugs to you, your Sweetie, pups and kitty
(((((((((((Shar))))))))))
Posted by Shar on November 10, 2004, at 21:42:03
In reply to Re: That's what happens.... » Shar, posted by Noa on November 4, 2004, at 18:23:55
Noa...So, how are you feeling now? When you look back on it, was the distress you felt in concordance with the situation? I'm not trying to minimize your feelings (and, what an invasion to have someone grab you!). But, I know, sometimes when I have stress, I can take things very differently than at other times.
So, Noa, I'm seriously wondering, looking back on it...how do you feel?
And, Coral, thank you for the hugs for all of us.
xoxoxoxo
Shar
Posted by Noa on November 12, 2004, at 5:26:12
In reply to Re: That's what happens....Noa, Coral, posted by Shar on November 10, 2004, at 21:42:03
Shar, I still feel like it was inappropriate, but I've calmed down since then. I think I have to learn to deal with that stuff directly when it happens--ie to be more assertive.
My nerves are somewhat calmer the past few days. I had been feeling an increase in my depression, so my pdoc and I decided I would raise my med dose a bit and I think it caused me to feel agitated and anxious. I discussed it with him again and we decided I'd go back down to the previous dose and after a few days I started to feel less agitated.
But I still see the incident in the same way, just the intesity of the feelings have worn off.
Thanks for asking!
This is the end of the thread.
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