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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 26, 2004, at 10:56:36
Ach, my head is spinning.
Having "girlie" problems that are doing my head in..
I had a cervical smear 5 months ago that came back with some "nuclear" changes. I had to go in for a colpscopy and cone biopsy.. that came back as "inadequate", but they were unsure why.So I had to have another. Which has come back the same.
So 2 weeks ago I had to have a full STD check up, so more swabs taken,
they came back clear.
So today I had to go back for yet more tests.. more lying on my back, with that nasty metal thing shoved up me AGAIN.
They say my cervix looks perfectly healthy, but every time they try to take cells from it, it starts to bleed, and thats not such a good sign. Its not meant to do that apparently.
But, while there this morning, I asked about my hemorhoids. I'm still getting a fair amount of bleeding, and alot fo lower back pain.. So, I get to have THAT examination too.. no sign of hemorhoids, but there is a suspicious lump there.
So, now, a week before christmas, I get to have a camera inserted up my bum, aswell as the one they are shoving down my throat to find out why I am constantly nauseas.
I'm freaking over all of this. Didn't go into work today, but now have spent the day stewing.
My boss is doing my head in at work.. she has a really accusing tone of voice, and seems to constantly question what I am doing.. Triggers all the "you're worthless and will never be a success" feelings in me.
Plus I escaped into sleep for 2 hours at lunchtime, so know I won't sleep tonight.
And one of my hero's (A radio DJ, John Peel) died today.
No answers I know.. You're the only people I can say these thinsg to.. but have no idea on how to avoid admin AND come here.. plus, theres this huge part of me that HAS to read admin.. if someone is saying things about me, I want to know what is being said.
Wish we could ask people not to post *about* us, aswell as not *to* us!!!
Rambly day.. think I need to just get all these different things straight in my head somehow!
Thanks.. you people are very very very special
nikki xxx
Posted by SLS on October 26, 2004, at 14:32:14
In reply to head spinning, posted by NikkiT2 on October 26, 2004, at 10:56:36
Hi Nikki.
PBA is really a bad place for you right now.
I wouldn't worry too much about what a poster has to say in their requests for determinations of your submissions. Dr. Bob does a good job of fielding such requests and making such determinations. If there is something there to be questioned, I'm sure the doctor will address you directly, and you will have an opportunity to defend yourself. However, if there is no validity to the request, you can go about your day in a state of bliss.
Really, really, really try to ignore these requests for determination and their author or authors for now. Not doing so will probably provoke you into writing things that you will later regret while you are in this emotionally vulnerable state. We'll have to see if you have already written anything that would cause the doctor to comment on. If you have, it was probably in response to a poster you could have ignored.
If you feel that you would rather not ignore requests for determination, waiting some period of time before responding to them might be a better way to go about it. Still, there is no pressing need to do so.
I know that Lou Pilder writes several posts each day requesting Dr. Bob for determinations. Perhaps you could ignore him.
Taking care of yourself might mean not visiting PBA temporarily.
I know you know all of this. I just thought you might like to see it in black and beige.
Sorry to hear about your girlie problems.
Smile.
:-)
- Scott
Posted by Noa on October 26, 2004, at 17:54:36
In reply to head spinning, posted by NikkiT2 on October 26, 2004, at 10:56:36
Nik,
First of all, let me say a vicarious "OUCH!". I hope they can clear these mysterious problems up soon and you can feel better.
Second, dealing with bosses is a big challenge sometimes. But it sounds like you do have some allies and sources of support around you there at work. Use that support to bolster yourself for dealing with the boss stuff.
Finally, the past few days I've been thinking about you and feeling so proud of you! Just think--you really have worked hard and made huge changes in your life. How hard it is to go from losing a job, losing your confidence after being out of work for a long time, and then using your creativity and wits to land first one interesting and "off the beaten path" job and then to jump from there to a bigger and more challenging one!
I think it was good for you to get that mentor at work--a mentor can be so important in supporting you in early stages of your career.
And I know how challeging it is when you don't always get the support and encouragement you need and deserve at home (with S.O.s having difficulty adjusting to your new work life outside the home, etc.).
So I am very proud of you!!!!
Get and stay healthy!!
Noa (co-captain of your fan club!)
Posted by Racer on October 28, 2004, at 16:31:25
In reply to head spinning, posted by NikkiT2 on October 26, 2004, at 10:56:36
Oh, Nikki! I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been going through. Although I don't know exactly what you're experiencing, I did go through the whole bad pap smear myself, including the biopsy, etc. That was ever so much fun -- especially since the doctors involved did that whole "scare the patient silly with all the bad things that will likely happen after" thing. They told me to have children right away, if I ever wanted them, because it would likely lead to full blown uterine cancer within a short time! That was 15 years ago, and there's no sign of any of the sorts of things they warned me about -- not one. To add to the stress of that period, though, I was in a strange place at work -- my boss was leaving, and her replacement was a "new broom" type: he didn't want any of "her" people in his department, and I got the call about the biopsy within an hour of giving in my notice! To make matters worse, I had to have pap tests every three months for a year -- except that none of them came back with a straight answer! Every one of them, for about two and a half years, came back with something like "inconclusive" on them, AND a doctor who did the test also told me my uterus was enlarged and in a 'weird position' -- thank you, doctor, for your incredible tact and compassion. That, of course, freaked me out beyond belief for a long time. Turns out my uterus is 'tipped', but it's very common and doesn't mean anything. Also turns out that a bad technique can screw up a pap test. Furthermore, turns out the uterus gets a bit enlarged at certain periods in one's cycle.
And, more to the point, turns out that "bad pap tests" are very common, and generally don't mean all that much. Even if they do find dysplasia -- which is just a fancy name meaning little more than enthusiastic cell growth -- more than two thirds of all women with full blown cervical dysplasia have NO adverse aftereffects. None, zip, nada, they're just fine forever after. Once I finally learned that little gem, I felt a lot better about it. Of course, it helped that all my pap tests have been fine since those first couple of years of bad technique.
I hope that you can forego the really insensitive doctor part, but have the same good outcome I did. In fact, I gave you all the details so that you wouldn't be so freaked out if you happened to see the doctors I saw...
As for the other "lump" -- there are all sorts of things that can be, quite apart from the Scary One. I know -- remember the lumps on my liver? "suspicious for malignancy" earlier this year? -- that it won't help to say, "Put it out of your mind until you can get the tests done..." I wish saying that was enough. The best I can say is this: you have my very best wishes, and you're in my thoughts and my heart. If you need anything that can be sent from California, just ask. (Or, better yet, come over here, stay in our guest room, and we'll take it one step at a time to get you back to your full SuperPowers...)
My mother has that sort of voice -- and compounds it by refusing to wear her glasses! She glares at people and sound accusing. Great, huh? She's really and truly just squinting, and the accusatory tone is her own insecurity. Can you remind yourself that the tone your boss uses might be her own insecurity? Maybe if you approach her as the insecure one, and focus on helping her feel secure, it might help all the way around? Sometimes I do that with Mom, now that I've learned it from my students -- making their insecurity my focus helped me feel more confident.
Just a few thoughts, and a story...
Nikki, my dear one, you have my very best wishes and thoughts coming atcha.
Posted by Shar on October 29, 2004, at 22:22:54
In reply to head spinning, posted by NikkiT2 on October 26, 2004, at 10:56:36
I can relate, y'all. I've had years of 'bad' pap smears, and a culposcopy, and a lot of 'bad' mammograms, and a breast biopsy (two, actually) that were benign. So, now I have a rather cavalier attitude about all the bad paps and lumps. The last mammogram I had, about 3 years ago before I lost my health insurance, they said 'well, you have something going on, and we want to keep an eye on it, so come back in 3 months.'
In 3 months, I no longer had health insurance, so ... haven't been back. Also, couldn't afford to go to planned parenthood anymore for pap smears and prem-pro, so am having night sweats and hot flashes like crazy. Ain't America great?
Since learning about Hospice care, I don't even know if I'd get chemo or all that cr*p....I'm ready to go! I just don't want any pain or nausea!! Especially nausea.
So, I tip my chapeau for you two who have the means and interest not to die.
What I learned about my retroverted (tipped) uterus was it may make childbirth more difficult, plus one could have more cramps with periods, and if you get an IUD, then it will hurt worse, etc. So, being 'out of position' or tipped, is not intrinsically problematic so far as carrying a pregnancy successfully, maybe just a bit more difficult at the end.
Plus, I only ever had one child, and I don't know how it could have been any worse (pain-wise) retroverted uterus or not! Tho' I know there are women who have more than one, so it must have been 'less worse' than what I experienced!
I had a BLTL at 28, not wanting to ever, ever experience that extreme of illness/pain again. I was a sick puppy when pg; once passed right out in the doc's office. But, my sister...she just sailed through her 2 pg's! Go figure! (But, you must consider that I had my son in 1970, and things are WAYYYY different now!).
Anyhow, all these tests etc. don't always mean a lot, so try as much as you can not to worry.
xoxoxo
Shar
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