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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on September 16, 2004, at 15:22:10
Ugh. OK, so this is September, and I think I started with SparklingNewTherapist in June? Today I *finally* managed to talk about something that I've been hiding all this time. Of course, now that I was ready, she actually ended up directing me onto one aspect of it -- my aunt's contributions to the problem -- rather than staying on the more general topic, but it was still OK. It was a valid area to explore, for one thing, and I was able to say most of what I had to say on the general topic -- and, anyway, the general topic tends to push me into "Intellectual" mode, rather than anything emotional, so shifting the focus onto something related to the emotional side of it was probably a Good Thing.
Anyone proud of me?
(The topic, by the way, was my weight and eating. For whatever reason, I can type about it when you can't see me, but I can't talk about it with anyone face to face. In fact, I'd been trying to say it into her voicemail for a couple of weeks now, and just wasn't able to at all. Yesterday, on the followup with Dr NoName -- who may become Dr CattleProd -- I managed to say something about it, but there wasn't time to discuss it. He asked if he could discuss it with SparklingNew, and I was paralyzed -- just sudden complete paralysis at the thought of it. But, while he said he wouldn't, it did spur me on to get some of it out to her voicemail, as I was calling to ask about a second appointment this week.)
Now, of course, I'm in Reaction Mode -- overwhelmed, scared, etc. But -- it's done.
Posted by SLS on September 16, 2004, at 16:08:44
In reply to Therapy breakthrough {{ULP!}}, posted by Racer on September 16, 2004, at 15:22:10
Hi Racer.
That's a pretty big step.
You are justified in being proud of yourself. What a great move forward.
Why CattleProd?
Also, what is ULP?
- Scott
Posted by Noa on September 16, 2004, at 16:36:19
In reply to Therapy breakthrough {{ULP!}}, posted by Racer on September 16, 2004, at 15:22:10
Great work, Racer. Yes, I am proud of you. I know it was hard.
Goodonya, kiddo!
Posted by Racer on September 16, 2004, at 17:00:27
In reply to Re: Therapy breakthrough {{ULP!}}, posted by SLS on September 16, 2004, at 16:08:44
ULP is the noise you make when you {gulp} It was very difficult to say any of this, and it's left me sort of emotionally gulping for air to have done it. And, while I am proud of myself for saying it, it's scary as [a warm climate], largely because -- while I recognize the problem *as* a problem -- I still don't want to be treated for it, if it means that I gain weight -- which, by definition, it does. Talk about conflict, huh?
And Dr CattleProd because it was his question about whether it was something he could discuss it with SparklingNew (who needs a new name, since she's not all that new anymore) that prompted me to bring it up -- finally. Sort of like using a cattleprod.
This is actually his second CattleProd moment, by the way. The first time around, his addition of Anxiety Disorder did something pretty similar. While I knew that anxiety was a big part of my depression, I'd always insisted to myself that it was only a part of the depression, not a problem in its own right. It felt as if I was meandering around the path to that door, allowing myself to be distracted by shiny pebbles on the ground, avoiding facing up to the door I knew was waiting for me at the end of my journey, and he just picked me up by the scruff of my neck and put me down in front of that door. Much sooner than I'd ever planned to arrive there, but a necessary arrival point, nonetheless.
So, does Dr CattleProd work for everyone? Or shall we look for something else?
Posted by NikkiT2 on September 17, 2004, at 14:40:41
In reply to Therapy breakthrough {{ULP!}}, posted by Racer on September 16, 2004, at 15:22:10
YES.. I am so very very proud of you!! *hugs you*
Does she have email? or atleast, you could type stuff out and simply hand it over? A "this week, I really need to talk about xxx, but its easier for me to tell you this over email".
I hope this leads to some help honey.. I really do
You rock!
Nikki xx
Posted by Racer on September 17, 2004, at 15:02:22
In reply to Re: Therapy breakthrough {{ULP!}} » Racer, posted by NikkiT2 on September 17, 2004, at 14:40:41
This is the end of the thread.
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