![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by NikkiT2 on August 13, 2004, at 15:05:41
I've had a really bad day. Most of it spent in tears. All I want this evening is a hug and some understanding.
Do I get. Not a hope. I have had long, angry lectures from just about the moment he came home. I hadn;t done as many chores as I said I would. The £50,000 my mum is paying off our mortgage isn't good enough (he wants it in his hand) and because I don't have all the information about it (I have asked mum, but she doesn't have it yet) I am being talked to angrily. There was a country in the Olym[ic opening ceremony I'd never heard of, so I'm told how stupid I am.
Why tonight?? Why does he have to choose tonight??
I had the joy of my cervical cone biopsy this morning. Started out OK.. with the doc telling me my cervix looks nice and healthy. Then he asks if my cervix always bleeds when touched (like, how am I meant to see my own cervix huh??!), and said that was worrying. He then told me my cervix is rather small, and this would cause problems with carrying a baby to term. And that said cervix is at a strange angle which could cause problems with conception.
So, all in all, I feel rather sh***y today.
And I get such great support. Not even my mum has phoned to see how I got on.
[delete word][delete word][delete word]
Nikki
Posted by Racer on August 13, 2004, at 15:38:25
In reply to Are all men heartless pigs?, posted by NikkiT2 on August 13, 2004, at 15:05:41
How awful! I'm so sorry, Nikki.
Some days I think that there's some cosmic manure-o-meter that just hits the "[insert name here] hasn't been buried in it lately..." Most of the time, I can say, "well, it's got to be hard to my husband to [have me in this state/suffer through his life without my assistance/understand how things work on *this* planet/whatever]." And other times I say my ex-bf had it right when he would say, "The moon is in Ca-Ca today."
For what it's worth, yesterday I crashed into a really severe depressive slump, and my husband came home with a backhoe to dig the whole a little deeper for me. Maybe there really was something going around yesterday in some cosmic sense. (<< I grew up in California -- hate that kind of talk, but it does sometimes seem too coincidental when that sort of thing happens at the same time for multiple people separated by distance.)
Anyway, I won't even try to defend your fella -- I don't think he deserves it. There are plenty of countries on this planet that I've never heard of, and I think the fact that your mother is helping at all is more than most people could expect, and the cervical thing -- more on that later -- would scare and upset any woman whose mind was in the same time zone as her body. Add in the rest of the day's stressors, and -- even if you didn't dust the chimneypiece -- I think he could have shown some restraint and tried to offer some comfort.
It won't matter to you now, because the biopsy was so recent, but here's some cervical history of my own: I had to have part of mine removed years back. The fears surrounding pregnancy were pronounced to begin with, the mention of the odd location was devastating, and the 'gee, I don't know if there's enough cervix left to support a fetus to term...' just about sent me off to the happy farm. It took a long time to get over that, and to get the courage up to ask my doctor about it all. Finally, with a doctor whom I trusted and felt comfortable with, I did ask all my questions. She listened, took my fears seriously, and answered thoughtfully. (Man, you better believe I miss her.) Anyway, the cervical location isn't necessarily a big deal. If it's located behind your ear, that would be a problem, but the little swimmers don't have to start out at a starting line -- they can find their way to the cervix without all that much difficulty. Again, it's likely that different positions would make it easier or harder for them, but making babies is not like science experiments in the lab: there's fudge room built in. I have no idea what the bleeding means, although I do remember something about the cervix getting more fragile when it's been handled a lot recently, or possibly during certain phases of the cycle. It might or might not be significant. And size? Has this guy read even as much as I have about the ways to increase the chance of a full term baby in high risk cases? If your cervix is unable to support the weight of a baby -- this was true even back when i had my surgery -- they can do things to support it enough for it to do its job! It's not very nice of him to leave you so worried, especially since it's over unnecessary fears. (Although, I would try to check on the bleeding thing, my guess is that stress might play a part...)
Nikki, I wish I could offer you something more than just works on a screen. Sending you good thoughts, and hope you feel the concern and affection behind these words.
Posted by Shar on August 13, 2004, at 23:45:38
In reply to Are all men heartless pigs?, posted by NikkiT2 on August 13, 2004, at 15:05:41
Nik,
Well, I don't know. Many seem to be heartless pigs. Male and female.As far as your cervix is concerned, I have a retroverted uterus which complicates childbirth a bit, and I've had a cone biopsy also plus a bunch of "bad" pap smears. [I'll give you details if you want contact shar_from_babble at yahoo.]
AND, I watched the Olympic parade of countries and there were bunches I did not know about, and some I "should have" paid attention to, that I did not. So, I can join you in your so-called ignorance. I suppose the more important issue for me is that I have some interest in world events, even if I don't know everything to start with. So...I learned, and learning is good, and learning should be revered.
We can only be what we can be. We can only know what we know. So, you, Nik, shouldn't worry.
People don't always come through for us the way we want. However, we have to look at the overall picture. If "His Lordship" :) does not consistently support you, there could be good reason for questions. If it has been an especially hard day for you and you don't get the support you want [so long as it's not a predictable pattern] then....sometimes that happens.
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater quite yet. I'm sorry that you went through your biopsy alone, that does totally suck. Have you shared your thoughts/feelings?
I am with you 100% Nik. And I hope your biopsy is ok.
xoxo
Shar
Posted by Shar on August 13, 2004, at 23:52:28
In reply to Re: Are all men heartless pigs? » NikkiT2, posted by Shar on August 13, 2004, at 23:45:38
And, I have a Ph.D. so you should never feel dumb! So Many people are supposedly smart in some area or another, but....take them into something they don't know about and, well, by their own standards, they'd be "dumb."
How ridiculous!
What strikes me is that you have curiousity, which means lifelong learning, which is what it's all about. It isn't horizontal.
Tell your beloved that Dr. Shar said you're ok!!!
:)
xoxo
S
Posted by Racer on August 15, 2004, at 12:24:35
In reply to Are all men heartless pigs?, posted by NikkiT2 on August 13, 2004, at 15:05:41
Hey, Miss Nikki, how are you doing today? Have things improved a bit?
Thinking of you, and hoping you're doing better.
Posted by NikkiT2 on August 15, 2004, at 16:59:01
In reply to How are you today? » NikkiT2, posted by Racer on August 15, 2004, at 12:24:35
Been away this weekend.. hectic weekend at mums seeing lots of family!!
Will catch you up tomorrow.
I'm meeting partlycloudy for dinner tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nikki x
Posted by Noa on August 17, 2004, at 18:58:24
In reply to Are all men heartless pigs?, posted by NikkiT2 on August 13, 2004, at 15:05:41
Hey, Nikki,
I just got back, so I'm responding a bit behind the times to your post. I'm sorry you had such a lousy day and such an unhelpful reception when you got home. I hope things have begun to get better over the past few days. Of course, I haven't read the rest of the thread yet, which I should have done before posting this.....
Posted by Noa on August 17, 2004, at 19:03:03
In reply to Re: Are all men heartless pigs? » NikkiT2, posted by Shar on August 13, 2004, at 23:45:38
Shar and Nikki--this is funny because I noticed there were countries I had never heard of either!!! And I like to think my general fund of knowledge about world geography gets a least a passing grade. You are NOT alone!! I guess the political landscape has been changing a lot lately and it's hard to keep up. (plus I have a feeling that the Olympics recognizes countries that might not be on the 'official' list of countries acc. to the way our countries see things).
Posted by Racer on August 17, 2004, at 19:45:37
In reply to Re: World geography, posted by Noa on August 17, 2004, at 19:03:03
One of my cousins is a geologist, and travels around the world for work. LOTS of visits to the areas around the former USSR.
Whenever we ask him anything about where he's going over there, he says the same thing: "Wheretheheckistan"
Bottom line is, Noa's right. (There's a pattern to that, anyone else notice?) There are so many new names for places we thought we knew, and other places that really didn't exist when we were studying those maps in school, that it's no wonder we can't keep up.
But do watch the Games to see how Wheretheheckistan does.
Posted by NikkiT2 on August 18, 2004, at 14:30:35
In reply to Re: World geography -- 'nother thought, posted by Racer on August 17, 2004, at 19:45:37
Sorry for nto respondong sooner, but its been SUCH a hectic week!
Feeling better about things.. and I guess accepting that I will never gett eh support and understanding I want at home. I guess I just need to rant about it at times.
Went off to visit family for the weekend.. lovely seeing everyone, but so tiring!
Then monday, work, then I met the utterly delightful partlycloudy and her husband for dinner. I have to say it was a thoroughly enjoyable evening.. PC is cute, funny, interesting, and all round lovely!! And her husband is really good company too! We ate really wonderful indian food, which was a real treat.. and her hubby insisted on paying for dinner, and PC bought me some book tokens which I utterly adore reciving!! I'm saving them for a free weekend so I can spend ages in the big waterstones *g*
Then eysterday I hosted my first conference for work.. and service user one (160 service users turned up!) and it was sooo exhausting!! I enjoyed it, and learnt an awful lot of lessons.. I think we all did!! But I was wiped last night, and internet only came back at 10pm..
Today ahs been hectic too.. and I was exhuasted untill 4:45 *lol* I suddenly got my second wind which was soo bizarre *l*Anyway.. just wanted to drop in an update! Life is good, but I am so so tired *L*
Hope you're all doing OK
Nikki xx
Posted by SLS on August 20, 2004, at 10:32:05
In reply to Are all men heartless pigs?, posted by NikkiT2 on August 13, 2004, at 15:05:41
Would it make you feel any better if I were to say "yes"?
:-)
:-(
Sorry.
- Scott
Posted by CamW. on August 25, 2004, at 16:55:19
In reply to Re: Are all men heartless pigs?, posted by SLS on August 20, 2004, at 10:32:05
Scott - I thought that this was a rhetorical question. Just to be fair, it's not our fault; I blame cultural history and the DWEMs who recorded.
How ya doin' kid?
- Cam
Posted by SLS on August 26, 2004, at 8:51:59
In reply to Re: Are all men heartless pigs? » SLS, posted by CamW. on August 25, 2004, at 16:55:19
> Scott - I thought that this was a rhetorical question. Just to be fair, it's not our fault; I blame cultural history and the DWEMs who recorded.
>
> How ya doin' kid?
>
> - Cam
Hi Cam!:-)
To what do we owe the pleasure?
Just yesterday, I was thinking about dropping you a line when I came across your name in my address book.
I have not found anything to adequately treat my bipolar depression yet. It has been pretty bad lately, but I just started taking Cymbalta last week.
I had tried to visit Dr. Grohol's site a few times, but I really didn't like the way the message board was set up. I'm glad you found a home during your absence here.
Soooo.... what's up???
What's a DWEM?
Nice to see you, friend.
- Scott
Posted by CamW. on August 26, 2004, at 17:33:07
In reply to Re: Are all men heartless pigs? » CamW., posted by SLS on August 26, 2004, at 8:51:59
Scott - Life just started to slow down a bit. For a while there it felt like I was just spinning my wheels; I just got fed up and went off all my meds about 3 months ago (yes, yes, I weaned properly; very little to no withdrawl effects from the Effexor and went from 225mg to nothing in less than a month). Is this risky? Yes. Should I be risking relapse like this? Probably not.
I just figure that after all the crap of the last 4 years, I must have reset some of my physiological/psychological breakdown points. We'll see.
Sorry to hear about your setbacks. I wish that I could help you, but I am no longer playing the "psych" game. I have a job out of town now, so I don't have the time to play in the stacks at the University library, anymore. I am really becoming jaded with psychopharmacology. I'm not saying that I have any better treatment ideas, but it seems that we barely know what we are doing. Drug company half-truths and biotech patents (among many other current ethical dilemmas in science) really have hog-tied the scientific process. I can't see how any new insight really has a chance to blossom in the current research climate. I hope that I am wrong.
I am also not working in the Mental Health field anymore, and the doctors in the small town that I work in don't seem to believe that I do know more than most about psychotropics. So, I just play "pharmacist" and try to make a difference, where I can.
I dunno, maybe I need a career change ..... a science teacher would be cool! .....
- Cam
Posted by nikkit2 on October 20, 2004, at 5:12:36
In reply to Re: Are all men heartless pigs? » SLS, posted by CamW. on August 25, 2004, at 16:55:19
CAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cam!!!!!!!!!!
Wow!! *gives you a giant sized hug*
Great to see you dude!! And not ALL men are heartless pigs ;)
Nikki xxx
Posted by CamW. on December 15, 2004, at 0:25:28
In reply to Re: Are all men heartless pigs? » CamW., posted by nikkit2 on October 20, 2004, at 5:12:36
Hey Nik! I've been thinking a lot about you for at least the past 6 months. I have not been to this site very often this year (actually, I have not used the internet much either).
I have been getting into British T.V. lately and buying DVDs of several shows. This may not mean much to many here, but I'd like your impression of my viewing habits from a native's point of view.
I have bought both seasons of "The Office", and recently obtaining the Christmas special. I find the show outrageously hilarious, but David Brent's (Ricky Gervais's) personality and his management style does make me wince a bit. I think it hits a little close to home. I watch him and sometimes feel that, "OMG, that's me!).
Also, my daughter has rented several seasons of "Worst Witch" from Blockbusters. I think I'll have to buy her the series. What a cute show! Oh drat, now I have the theme music going through my head ... sigh!
The CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) has started to show "Shoebox Zoo" (I know, it's a BBC Scotland production, but you guys probably get it, too). They only show it once a week (Wednesday at 4:30pm) and since I am on a two week rotation at work I only see every second one. My daughter does keep me informed of what's going on. She thinks that I am like the dad (ie. the way he sticks up for his daughter) and thinks that we have a similar close relaionship.
On the magazine front, I now suscribe to "Fortean Times", "Skeptic", and "BBC History" (and, until recently "Living History" until it was recently incorporated in the former). I buy "Medievel History", "History Today", "Focus" and "New Scientist" on a regular basis (I have tried to subscribe to the latter, but it seems that they don't want to take my money (I'd like to get the UK version rather than the US version, but right now I'd just like them to give me a subscription). I love them all.
I guess that from the above list that you can see what my new passion is .... finding my roots. I find British history facinating! I am not following psychopharmacology that much, anymore. In fact, I only subscribe to "The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry" now, where I use to follow more than 10 journals on a regular basis. i am reading as much as I ever did (especially since I am still spending, on average, a week per month away from home due to my job being 80km away - they just pay me too darn much, I just can't quit).
As for books, I have been reading a lot of Richard Dawkin's work, and have been trying to work my way through "Susan Blackmore's "Consciousness: An Introduction". Martin Rees, I find interesting. I do own most of Stephen Hawkings books, but I am tiring of him. I find that he is a bit arrogant and conceited.
I watch "BBC Newsworld" on satellite, rather than "CNN". I find that there reporting is much less biased and gives a more accurate description of what is going on in the world.
When I get the chance, I like to read "The Guardian Online". I find that this modern version of the "Manchester Guardian" tells it like it is, and doesn't pull many punches (When you have someone like Dawkins acting as a self-appointed watchdog, the reporters are kept on their toes). At work I like to listen to the reruns BBC programming online, but I recently had my "hands slapped" using the internet for other than work-related purposes.
So, whaddaya say, ya think you can make me an honorary (or is that honourary) limey? I'd love to come to England for an extended visit and just tour archeological sites and museums).
I found a site that specializes in making Medievel clothing from the original patterns and this Hallowe'en the whole family dressed up in 16th century clothing, right down to the shoes. We spent Hallowe'en in Disneyworld (yes, the court case is finally over and we were able to continue our Disneyworld vacation that was so rudely interruped 4.5 years ago. I still don't think that justice was served .... but that's another story.
I'm sorry to hear that Julian isn't treating you the way that you deserve. You are one nice person, and I miss chatting with you (as well as several others here) as we once did.
I am staying away because I feel that I have lost my "edge". I have no confidence in my ability to help people. I don't even log onto John Grohol's site anymore. I don't feel that I am able to contribute as I once did (that reminds me, I gotta contact him and tell him that I don't think that I am able to help him with his site). I do see that Larry Hoover is answering questions there, so people are still getting information from someone knowledgeable.
Anyway, I've rambled on way too long. You take care girl; I just wanted to tell you that I have been thinking about you of late. - Love Cam
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble 2000 | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.