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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by judy1 on February 27, 2004, at 14:43:18
my pdoc just sent me an e-mail saying he sent me a termination letter. this came about because i sent him an e-mail saying i couldn't handle driving the 100 miles to see him and generally that i give up. now i can't stop crying. i mean i basically said it was over and now i'm upset because he agreed? abandonment issues. i've been through so many pdocs i've lost count. i realize i need one close by but i think i've already checked them all out. i have no idea what to do.
Posted by Racer on February 27, 2004, at 16:19:47
In reply to terminated by pdoc, posted by judy1 on February 27, 2004, at 14:43:18
I'm so sorry. That must hurt so much. Sending you warmest thoughts, hold them close.
Can you call him, or email him, asking his advice? Tell him almost the same thing you told us, just that you're having strong feelings of abandonment, don't think you have any closer options, and ask him if he can offer any advice on the subject? He may know of someone closer whom you may not be aware of. Maybe a GP who has a lot of experience with psychopharmacology, or a semi-retired type?
Those are just practical suggestions, though, and what I really want you to know is that I'm sad for you, and sending you warm thoughts to help you through.
Posted by noa on February 27, 2004, at 19:23:38
In reply to terminated by pdoc, posted by judy1 on February 27, 2004, at 14:43:18
(((((Judy)))))
Racer gave good advice--see if the pdoc can refer you to someone closer.
I'm sorry you are facing this. Don't give up, though. Please?
Posted by shar on February 27, 2004, at 20:29:47
In reply to terminated by pdoc, posted by judy1 on February 27, 2004, at 14:43:18
Judy,
So very sorry to hear about that. Are you ok meds-wise for right now (have refills, not thinking about switching meds or trying something new)? If so, that buys you a little time.I agree with the previous suggestions.
And, I'll be having wishes for a good outcome for you personally and pdoc-wise.
xoxo
Shar
Posted by judy1 on February 28, 2004, at 12:40:39
In reply to Re: terminated by pdoc » judy1, posted by shar on February 27, 2004, at 20:29:47
thank you so much for your support. i did e-mail and ask him if we could do phone sessions until the termination day- the letter said one month- 3/24. he wrote back and said to call him monday and we can talk as much as i need. that helped a lot. i'm pretty sure he doesn't know anybody who is closer- that was the reason i went to him in the first place. i just felt so threatened by everyone i saw here (after my last pdoc had terminated me), they all wanted to hospitalize me or do ECT. he never threatened that and i eventually trusted him. i think my internist would help if i wasn't such a complex case- while he would help with the panic disorder, uncontrolled bp 1 is not something he would be comfortable with. emotionally i feel better after getting my pdoc's e-mails, if you have any other thoughts about what i should talk about when he calls please let me know.
thank you again for the warm thoughts, they mean a great deal to me- judy
Posted by Racer on February 28, 2004, at 13:06:48
In reply to Shar, Racer and Noa, posted by judy1 on February 28, 2004, at 12:40:39
When your soon-to-be-ex-pdoc calls, you could tell him what you just told us: your internist would help you if you weren't such a complex case. You could then ask him for advice about whether another internist in your area might have more confidence in this area, or whether he, himself, might be able to consult with your internist about treating you. In one way, it's a long shot, but in another it's a viable option.
Here's a glimpse of what it might look like: you get telephone access to your STBEpdoc, you drive the long haul every three months to see him directly, and in between those visits, your internist can consult with pdoc about your treatment. That way, you can get the treatment you need and deserve, without the intimidation factors of the other pdocs closer to you, or the feeling of being without options. It's a sort of middle ground.
Of course, you'd have to work out a compensation schedule with pdoc, and he may not be interested in working with you on setting up a non-standard treatment structure like this, but if he's willing, would something like this seem doable to you?
Warmest wishes to you, whatever happens.
Posted by allisonm on February 28, 2004, at 14:43:31
In reply to terminated by pdoc, posted by judy1 on February 27, 2004, at 14:43:18
Hi Judy,
I'm sorry all of this is happening. I don't have any answers or suggestions. Just sympathy. I hope things work out — at least eventually if not sooner.
Take care and know we are thinking of you!
Allison
Posted by judy1 on March 1, 2004, at 15:05:48
In reply to Re: terminated by pdoc » judy1, posted by allisonm on February 28, 2004, at 14:43:31
it really helped a great deal. after i got over the crying abandonment feelings, we talked for about an hour. he agreed to remain a presence in my life, i can still call or e-mail him or see him on occasion. he just can't be my 'official' psychiatrist. it opens him up to too much liability. and intellectually i get all that. he'll give me 2 more refills of my meds in 3 weeks, and he's going to call me friday. strangely enough i feel like i can open up to him about some things that i couldn't before- you know the feeling that he'll drop me if he really knew me? well since that has already happened and the world did not end, maybe i can actually be honest. we'll probably do more in 3 weeks then we have in 4 years. that's if he's willing to get deep over the phone, we'll see. thanks again for the advice- judy
Posted by Snowie on April 3, 2004, at 11:47:33
In reply to terminated by pdoc, posted by judy1 on February 27, 2004, at 14:43:18
Goodness, deja vu! I was also terminated by a pdoc but it wasn't because I had written a letter. I had been to see a research pdoc because I thought I had social phobia (which was the result the research pdoc came to on his own), whereas the pdoc I was seeing was focused on panic attacks, which I didn't think I had. I wasn't planning on switching pdocs, and I shouldn't have told him I'd seen another pdoc without having a new pdoc lined up, but I wanted a different perspective from a new source. When I asked my pdoc to be switched from one benzo to another and had a problem adjusting to the new benzo, my pdoc had his receptionist tell me that he would authorize a 2 week script to the old benzo and he was terminating his services. It was just as well...I found someone MUCH better who I've been with for several years now.
Hang in there...some things work out for the best, even though it doesn't seem that way at the time. I've been through several pdocs as well, and this one is so mellow and I don't have to worry that something I might say will get me terminated.
Best of luck!
Snowie
Posted by noa on April 3, 2004, at 19:44:14
In reply to Re: terminated by pdoc » judy1, posted by Snowie on April 3, 2004, at 11:47:33
HI, Snowie! I saw your post on the main PB board about weekends. I also have a hard time on weekends because of the unstructured time.
Try to make some plans to do something (hopefully something fun) out of the house. It does help.
Posted by Snowie on April 5, 2004, at 21:05:49
In reply to Re: terminated by pdoc » Snowie, posted by noa on April 3, 2004, at 19:44:14
Thanks, Noa! I'm trying. I liked all of the suggestions, such as exercise (which is a great seratonin rush and something I need to do anyway) and planning my weekend in advance. It's so much easier to stay locked in my little house all by myself. Of course, a good cleaning on that little house would be nice occasionally.
I had liposuction in February! It was something I had been thinking about and interviewing plastic surgeons for several years since I had a totally unproportionate figure - when I exercised and lost weight my waist was tiny but I lost my breasts, yet my thighs and legs didn't change much. That's all in the past. I'm proportionate for the first time in my life. I didn't do it for weight loss since I'm not fat and liposuction shouldn't be used as a weight reduction method. I look so much better in my clothes now without my big thighs. It was a scary and radical thing for me to do but I think the final results are going to be good.
Snowie
> HI, Snowie! I saw your post on the main PB board about weekends. I also have a hard time on weekends because of the unstructured time.
>
> Try to make some plans to do something (hopefully something fun) out of the house. It does help.
Posted by noa on April 6, 2004, at 9:27:10
In reply to Re: terminated by pdoc » noa, posted by Snowie on April 5, 2004, at 21:05:49
This may be a dangerous suggestion, but now that you have that great bod to enjoy, why not plan some fun shopping on weekends for new clothes?
Posted by Snowie on April 9, 2004, at 17:35:30
In reply to Re: terminated by pdoc » Snowie, posted by noa on April 6, 2004, at 9:27:10
No, Noa. That's a fair question. You can change the body but until the mind decides to come along for the ride (by whatever means, such as therapy and/or meds) nothing's ever going to change. My cats and my mirror are the only ones who see the changes unfortunately. You can be a beautiful person both inside and out, but until you're able to risk putting yourself out there, nobody's ever going to know. So why did I have it done you're asking? Heck if I know. Maybe I thought it would boost my confidence or self-esteem, but so far it really hasn't.
Snowie
> This may be a dangerous suggestion, but now that you have that great bod to enjoy, why not plan some fun shopping on weekends for new clothes?
Posted by noa on April 9, 2004, at 18:39:51
In reply to Re: terminated by pdoc » noa, posted by Snowie on April 9, 2004, at 17:35:30
Still, why don't you go out shopping and buy something that you can wear now that you couldn't wear before? It might feel good!
Posted by Snowie on April 10, 2004, at 14:58:32
In reply to Re: terminated by pdoc » Snowie, posted by noa on April 9, 2004, at 18:39:51
Because I'm not there yet in terms of end result. It can take between 6 months to a year to see your final results after lipo. However, I have plenty of small clothes from years of yo-yo dieting, and I have been trying on some of my smaller clothes lately. Some fit and some are still too small. I'm only 2 months post op so I still have a lot of swelling. However, it gets better every day.
Snowie
> Still, why don't you go out shopping and buy something that you can wear now that you couldn't wear before? It might feel good!
Posted by noa on April 10, 2004, at 18:14:13
In reply to Re: terminated by pdoc » noa, posted by Snowie on April 10, 2004, at 14:58:32
Wow--that is a long time. I had no idea. Takes patience!
How ya doing this weekend?
This is the end of the thread.
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