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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on March 5, 2004, at 7:50:19
OK, it's 5:30 in the morning, and I'm fast awake. I feel like [expletive deleted] and am also feeling pretty damned hopeless again. It's been three weeks since I started leaving messages for the damn medication clinic, no calls returned. It's been two weeks since I wrote to the doctor, telling him the meds were a problem, and that my calls weren't being returned -- no response. The latest refill on the Xanax for sleep seems to be a problem: the same dosage required right up to the end of the last bottle of generic put me right to sleep, no problem, slept through the night just fine. This bottle, though, which I've used two nights now, doesn't seem to be working. I take my usual dose in the usual way -- one mg to relax me, then about half an hour later two more for sleep -- and not only don't I sleep, I go into hyperdrive and can't sleep. Then, when I get to sleep, I don't stay there. I went to bed early last night, but then woke up about an hour ago.
How crazy will it sound when I call the meds clinic to say, "I think this batch of generic is non-equivalent?" Think they'll return that call? Can't you just hear them? "Oh, that patient must be a med seeker. She just wants to be able to up her dose. Ignore her, or tell the doctor to stop prescribing benzos to her." The lack of trust, combined with the lack of any reason to start trusting, is really playing havoc with my moods, and my ability to hang on any longer.
Here's a question for you all: How can I tell if my perceptions are accurate? To me, things like no response to voice mail messages, no response to letters sent, eight months without any noticeable relief, all seem like reasonable premises on which to base a conclusion that I'm not receiving a very high standard of care. Calling again to leave more messages seems like maybe a good idea -- but I don't know if I feel comfortable being labeled a Whiner for calling so often.
Damn it all. I'm more than ready to feel human again. I know -- and you know -- that I do respond well to anti depressant medication, and it doesn't take eight months to respond to them. This damned doctor has only my word on that. You know and I know that having calls returned does matter, if only as a gesture of reassurance. Doesn't anyone ever mention that in med school?
Sorry to go on about this, I'm feeling really lousy again, and can't cope with it. It's gone on too long. I hope all of you are doing better than that -- this is one landscape I hope I don't have company in right now.
Posted by Racer on March 5, 2004, at 10:54:37
In reply to Very short vent, posted by Racer on March 5, 2004, at 7:50:19
This is the end of the thread.
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