![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on February 5, 2004, at 14:32:43
Just what I need, right? My therapist just mentioned -- at the end of our session -- that she's not going to be able to keep her therapy clients. She's taking on a new job, within the same agency, and it's going to mean she can't continue with any of her therapy clients.
OK, so you know that old joke, "Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get me..." Well, that's what it feels like. I'm finally starting to trust her, to open up, to feel strong enough to *work* at this stuff with her, and BOOM -- she's going away.
Then the carousel starts: She's not really abandoning me, she's going to be putting her skills to work for a larger purpose, she's ambitious and satisfying her ambitions, and my happiness for her in doing that should be unalloyed by my own selfish needs. I feel as if I'm going to be thrown adrift, alone, and then I feel as if I must be as wretched a person as I've always thought I was for being so damn selfish and self-centered.
No, she's not abandoning me to the wolves. I'll be assigned to another therapist in the same agency. It may very well turn out to be someone I'll work with just as well, better, almost as well, as I do with this one. That's reality. Reality is that she's moving up and into a position which is likely to allow her to help even more people than she can help one on one. (At least, I hope so, she didn't say what she was going to be doing.) Reality has nothing to do with how I feel. Must be that I'm so screwed up nothing can fix me -- just like that old pdoc said to me -- and if I weren't so screwed up beyond repair, maybe I could be reasonable and just be happy for her in moving towards her own personal goals, and happy for the larger number of people who will benefit from her services.
No, I'm not crying as I write this. I'm not hysterical at all this. I'm expressing my feelings -- and that's one hell of an improvement for me, ain't it?
Thanks for being here for me, everyone.
Posted by coral on February 5, 2004, at 16:40:05
In reply to My therapist is dropping all her clients, posted by Racer on February 5, 2004, at 14:32:43
Crips, Racer, that's terrible! No, you're not wretched, etc., You're in therapy to help you improve your life and this is a setback, hopefully a minor one, but a setback, nonetheless.
I hope she gave you some time to adjust before moving to her new position.
Coral
Posted by allisonm on February 5, 2004, at 16:57:51
In reply to Re: My therapist is dropping all her clients, posted by coral on February 5, 2004, at 16:40:05
I'm sorry to hear that, Racer. That has never happened to me. I don't know how I'd react. It would be awful.
Is she giving you time for this transfer over? What's the plan there? Is she helping to pick your next therp or is he/she just being assigned. Do you get to interview the new therp?
I hope this works out. Sometimes things like this are blessings in disguise.
Allison
Posted by Racer on February 5, 2004, at 17:07:49
In reply to My therapist is dropping all her clients, posted by Racer on February 5, 2004, at 14:32:43
I just reread what I wrote earlier. I left something out of it, that might be -- um -- just a little meaningful.
I'm not despondent about this, I'm really not. We've got at least one more session coming up, so we can talk about the transition then. It sounds as if we might have more than one, and if so, I'm going to ask for some extra sessions during the time we have left.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not passively giving up hope. Yeah, helplessness and hopelessness are big parts of my problem, but I see this as -- while pretty awful -- a chance to express a certain amount of stength in the face of adversity. You know, "Well, I know you're leaving, I trust you to help make sure that I am assigned to an appropriate therapist, but while you're still here -- since we know I'm working well with you and in a scary place -- can we talk about adding a few additional sessions?"
So, it's a Very Bad Thing that she's going to be ending this therapeutic relationship, but it is also a Potentially Good Thing in allowing me to try on a different set of responses.
There, now I think I've said what I meant to say. And thanks, again, for being here.
Posted by noa on February 5, 2004, at 19:22:49
In reply to My therapist is dropping all her clients, posted by Racer on February 5, 2004, at 14:32:43
Racer---here's my reaction to hearing this bad news---WTF! F! #@*&+#* and so on and so forth.
That stinks. Even if there is a good reason for it--it is a huge disappointment to have to go through now!!!!
YOu are expressing your feelings. It's a good thing. ANd yes, maybe it will work with the next therapist. The fact that you are open to this is amazingly wonderful.
I don't usually espouse this kind of thinking (fate, crossing paths, purpose of encounters,etc.), but here I am doing it for the second time in a couple of months: Maybe your path crossed with this therapist for this short time in order to help you get through was was one of, or perhaps THE, hardest crisis periods of your life. Now you are out of the direst crisis and are able to deal with transitioning to a new therapist.
Posted by shar on February 6, 2004, at 23:00:36
In reply to Re: My therapist is dropping all her clients » Racer, posted by noa on February 5, 2004, at 19:22:49
Racer,
I applaud your wonderful approach to being realistic and getting your own needs met during this transition. I believe life is very often the Very Good mixed with the Very Bad, and they ought to get equal amounts of our attention (but I'm still working on not focusing almost completely on the very Bad).I would have a BIG reaction to my therapist dropping me (and/or her other clients, but mainly me) and would want several sessions to work things out. I hope you will express to her what you said here--you sort of made this trust breakthrough then whammo! And, how you are approaching it.
It would not surprise me if some part of you will feel anxious or panicky from time to time, in fact, I would expect it. However, it sounds like you have a good grip on the situation.
Good luck!
Shar
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble 2000 | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.