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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 53. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tabitha on July 18, 2003, at 23:10:22
Gave 2-week notice today. Well, actually I asked for leave of absence, said my end date was August 1, but negotiable. Monday my boss & her boss want to meet with me-- I think they'll try to talk me out of it.
Posted by Tabitha on July 18, 2003, at 23:32:35
In reply to I Quit My Job... But I'm Not Sure They Believed Me, posted by Tabitha on July 18, 2003, at 23:10:22
no job, no boyfriend, weird pain coming up.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 18, 2003, at 23:58:37
In reply to Re: Ow, Pain., posted by Tabitha on July 18, 2003, at 23:32:35
Hello Tabitha!
I'm awake, but seroquel stoned,
be impressed by my astute and eloquent response.Thats going to be quite an adjustment.
There!
Seriously though, it will be weird at first but its kinda cool, like a fresh page, an adventure.
I was terrified when I quit work but found it amazingly easy to get used to, that was when I had insurance.
When I was laid off and on welfare, like I am now, it was a drag, because having no money to do anything makes all the difference.
Taking a leave of absence gives you a safety net though doesn't it? You won't be left high and dry?
Posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 0:10:35
In reply to Re: Ow, Pain. » Tabitha, posted by gabbix2 on July 18, 2003, at 23:58:37
I guess I want the option to go back at the end.. but I really doubt I'll go back there.
Still hurts. Maybe I'll just post every ten minutes. My therapist said this would be a hard weekend. It's the one-week anniversary of the last breakup. None of my real-life friends are available this weekend to get together. Probably will have to call the therapist and pay another couple hundred for support. Ugh.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 19, 2003, at 0:55:14
In reply to Re: Ow, Pain. » gabbix2, posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 0:10:35
Yeah, its nasty, well there aren't even words really. I've just decided that mine is over,
I mean I really feel it this time, it just took a while for my emotions to catch up and I'm sort of okay with it.
Of course if he shows up or writes to say
"Sorry I met someone else" now, I'll be a basket
case, cause thats just the way I am :(
I hate that!
I'm kind of afraid to go to bed, because I feel okay right now, but I always feel terrible in the morning.
I wish I had a therapist, I'd probably never go on a regular basis, I'm kind of bad that way.
Do you ever run into your ex?
Posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 0:55:26
In reply to Re: Ow, Pain. » gabbix2, posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 0:10:35
more anaesthetization per ounce, and fewer calories to boot. I poured the stuff out last week so I couldn't binge while depressed... which would be now. Now is the time I would binge.
Maybe a lovely sominex and tomorrow I make my lethargic self take a super-long rambling exhausting walk.
All I've done for 2 days is watch movies and compulsively web surf learning about diamonds and looking up fake jewelry to think about buying. No wonder I feel like crap.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 19, 2003, at 1:02:39
In reply to Re: Ice cream isn't helping, I want tequila, posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 0:55:26
Booze makes me so depressed, I guess in a way I'm lucky cause I'm never tempted.
I'm actually surprised I'm even sane considering my living situation, I do nothing, I have not one friend where I live, not even a friendly acquaintance, no phone, no cable t.v, and no money. If it weren't for this place I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be alive. Its not that it keeps me from doing anything else.
Its just a weird town I live in. Its hard to describe.
And of course having no phone its hard to keep in contact with anyone anyway, but I just can't afford one. I don't even know how I get through the day.
Posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 1:03:26
In reply to Re: Ow, Pain., posted by gabbix2 on July 19, 2003, at 0:55:14
hmm, I'm the opposite, feel worst at night, better in morning. makes me wonder why I compulsively stay up late recently.
running into ex-- just did this morning. we frequent the same starbucks (corny I know, starbucks love), and the whole time we were dating I never ran into him there accidentally, but there he was this AM, afternoon actually. He looked pretty cute too.
I was fantasizing this alternate universe version of him the last couple weeks we were together, it was him just tweaked a little (a lot really) into someone I could consider to be a real partner. If only... if only...
WHy can't I pick and choose among qualities of all the men I've dated and make one franken-boyfriend who'd be a really great partner? Hmm, I wonder if I could really get a great partner out of that raw material anyway.
Posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 1:14:18
In reply to Re: Ice cream isn't helping, I want tequila, posted by gabbix2 on July 19, 2003, at 1:02:39
Look! we're cross-posting!
Well maybe this is a dumb question, but... with no phone and no cable TV how do you have internet? No need to answer if it's none of my (our) business.
I just watched a really bad sappy movie called Sweet November that I picked off a bad movie list. It was like Dharma and Greg but Dharma secretly is dying of cancer. And I enjoyed it anyway. Now I'm going to watch May which is some kind of horror flick about a very very weird and isolated girl. I was surprised my video store even had it. It was on a good movie list not a bad one.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 19, 2003, at 2:04:42
In reply to Re: Ice cream isn't helping, I want tequila » gabbix2, posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 1:14:18
Oh sure I will answer, I have a little box, which connects to the cable outlet but does not give me cable t.v or cable speed internet but an in between
speed called *lite speed*, which is cheaper than cable internet but faster than dial up.There you go. The rest is a mystery only Shaw cable knows about.
I feel cheated with this fellow, I really cared about him, but I didn't think he was too good to be true. I thought I'd ditched the flaky intellectual artsy types and settled for a solid
dependable nice guy this time. I don't know where to go next. I think perhaps I just shouldn't.
I don't have a thick enough skin for this sort of thing.
Posted by kara lynne on July 19, 2003, at 2:24:15
In reply to Screaming isn't helping I want to kill him..., posted by gabbix2 on July 19, 2003, at 2:04:42
Can I come over or are you guys asleep? I am going to try and sleep now. I'm suckingly lonely--had that Pavlovian gonna-see-him thing going on, only to get crushed again.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 19, 2003, at 2:30:09
In reply to The saddest Who., posted by kara lynne on July 19, 2003, at 2:24:15
Come on over, My pajamas don't match though,
and mind the kitchen, Trash found the bag of catnip and its all over the kitchen floor.
He was having so much fun though, I couldn't ruin his party.
Posted by lostsailor on July 19, 2003, at 5:24:07
In reply to I'm still up » kara lynne, posted by gabbix2 on July 19, 2003, at 2:30:09
Can I be invited to. We can all complain about exes and opposite sexes.
I be the one in flannel pjs and a sweatshirt. I am seriously sick of love but long for it so deeply. Maybe that's part of my problem.
~tony
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 9:17:29
In reply to I Quit My Job... But I'm Not Sure They Believed Me, posted by Tabitha on July 18, 2003, at 23:10:22
That's fabulous, Tabitha!!! You've been wanting to do that for so long. I know you'll feel rotten for a little while, because change is hard. Even good change.
But you can take this time to assess what you want, and have a whole fresh start. When you think of how many work years we have ahead of us, it makes wonderful sense to take a sabbatical to decide what you want to do with the rest of it.
And it's because of your careful planning that you're able to do it! You haven't been profligate like me. You've carefully assessed the financial situation and discovered that this break is do-able. I'm sure that once the shock wears off you'll do just fine. You and your therapist can come up with some plans so that you don't become too isolated, and some plans to do some career planning. But you don't need to do that yet.
It's scary, but you've done something very nurturing for yourself.
Posted by noa on July 19, 2003, at 15:30:16
In reply to Re: Ow, Pain. » gabbix2, posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 1:03:26
> WHy can't I pick and choose among qualities of all the men I've dated and make one franken-boyfriend who'd be a really great partner?
Sounds great! Maybe one can be ordered up via the internet--you get to choose the features, put it together, custom made.
Sorry you are in a rough time all around. You do have gumption, though, which I rather admire! It will be interesting to see what the bosses will say to you on Monday.
Posted by noa on July 19, 2003, at 15:31:58
In reply to I'm still up » kara lynne, posted by gabbix2 on July 19, 2003, at 2:30:09
Remember the show the Golden Girls? Wasn't it amazing that they ALWAYS had cheese cake on hand for these late group chats when they were all agitated about something?
Hope y'all are feeling better today. At least a bit.
Posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 15:43:01
In reply to Re: I Quit My Job... But I'm Not Sure They Believed Me » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 9:17:29
thanks Dinah. I don't have that 'this is the right thing to do' feeling about it, but I definitely had that 'this is NOT right' feeling about continuing to work there, or about starting a new job search right now. I just feel depressed now, and overwhelmed at the thought of really cleaning out my office, and telling everyone else I've given notice with no real plans, and not having A JOB or school to go to for the first time in my entire adult life.
I also haven't really made health insurance arrangements. It may sound odd but I didn't want to find out how expensive it will be to purchase, and keep working just for that reason. If it's too expensive, I'll just shorten my break, or -gasp- just go without insurance for a time.
I tell myself I'm usually depressed the first few days of any vacation, until I get settled into a routine.
My boss was quick to figure out what kind of short-term assignment she could give me for my last 2 weeks. Can you believe it? Like I'm going to do any actual WORK from here out. I think she could use a sabbatical.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 19, 2003, at 16:01:32
In reply to Re: I'm still up, posted by noa on July 19, 2003, at 15:31:58
NO I am not feeling better and I will never feel better NEVER ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever NEVER!
I just like to say that because when I feel that way and then type it out I realize how ridiculous it looks.
Messing with my own head is just too easy.
Posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 16:44:11
In reply to Re: I Quit My Job... But I'm Not Sure They Believed Me » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 15:43:01
Chuckle. Well, that shows how much she respects and admires your work ethic, I guess. But I'm with you. Except training someone to your job responsibilities it's hard to imagine working your heart out in your two week notice.
Health insurance, that's always the rotten part. Cobra should help though, right? And the new portability law?
What does your therapist think of it all? I think I remember she had reservations. Do you think that is affecting you?
I was really depressed the other day when I realized I had another 25 years (at least) of work ahead of me. That's a bit longer than the time I've already put in so far. I think that kind of time commitment deserves some thought. Even if you decide to stay in the field you're in, you won't do it with as much resentment.
Are you still considering going back to school?
Posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 16:57:27
In reply to Re: I Quit My Job... But I'm Not Sure They Believed Me » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on July 19, 2003, at 16:44:11
Ha, I haven't even been working 8 hr days the past couple months... haven't really been busy at all. No way am I going to dive into a new task at this point. My boss and her boss (my former boss) are the type who read and send company email 24/7, even on 'vacation'.
Cobra, I've heard is more expensive than just buying it outright, but at least it's a guarantee of coverage. Once again, I should do my homework and find out the rate. I plan to use cobra as last resort if they won't cover me due to pre-existing condition or something.
My therapist has been supportive of the sabbatical idea for a while. She was less than supportive when I was just wanting to quit to escape stress. She now seems convinced I can use the time to evaluate what I want next career-wise, or life-wise.
But for now, ugh, I just feel depressed. And it's hot here. Think I'll go wander someplace air-conditioned.
Posted by noa on July 19, 2003, at 18:28:03
In reply to Re: I Quit My Job... But I'm Not Sure They Believed Me » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 16:57:27
The reason I think it is better to get COBRA coverage is that in order to benefit from some of the benefits of HIPAA (like no exclusions based on pre-existing conditions), you need to have continuous GROUP coverage.
If you buy insurance on your own, it could cost less, but then you also might lose your HIPAA elegibility, which could later affect whether you are denied certain coverage due to pre-existing conditions. Also, individually purchased plans tend to have more scanty coverage options than group plans do (although I don't know what your current group plan is like).
In addition to COBRA, I think many states have emergency gap coverage so that you don't lose your HIPAA elegibility if your COBRA runs out before you get new coverage.
I am not sure of all the details--
See the HIPAA website for more info:
Posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 21:05:44
In reply to Re: I Quit My Job... But I'm Not Sure They Believed Me » Tabitha, posted by noa on July 19, 2003, at 18:28:03
WOw, thanks Noa. I had never heard of HIPAA. It looks like I'd better use the COBRA coverage, since I'm sure the insurers would be eager to use pre-existing condition exclusions on my mental health coverage.
Posted by noa on July 19, 2003, at 22:32:53
In reply to Re: I Quit My Job... But I'm Not Sure They Believed Me » noa, posted by Tabitha on July 19, 2003, at 21:05:44
Yes, but Tab, read the info on the HIPAA site first--don't take my word for it--get the info from the source.
Posted by Tabitha on July 20, 2003, at 0:44:44
In reply to Re: I Quit My Job... But I'm Not Sure They Believed Me » Tabitha, posted by noa on July 19, 2003, at 22:32:53
I did read it, honest.
Posted by noa on July 20, 2003, at 10:24:24
In reply to Re: I Quit My Job... But I'm Not Sure They Believed Me » noa, posted by Tabitha on July 20, 2003, at 0:44:44
: - )
I just worry in case my info isn't accurate!
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