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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 16 to 40 of 65. Go back in thread:
Posted by rskontos on March 3, 2008, at 19:24:16
In reply to Re: I am resigning as deputy » Dinah, posted by AbbieNormal on March 3, 2008, at 18:34:51
Dinah, I hope that you are resigning due to a desire to take care of yourself and not because Dr. Bob is doing something you feel you can't be a part of :(
Or that if you tried to resign as a deputy and the stipulations put in place where just to hard then I understand. All in all, this is a little confusing so I hope you know who that (think Dr. Bob) shall jump in and clear this up. I don't want to put Dinah in yet another uncomfortable place of explaining when she extrapolated herself already.
Dinah you will be missed as a deputy. I noticed your posting was down. Does anyone understand better than I, does this mean Dinah will be gone from Babble for good. I hate to ask her to repeat if I misunderstood. I seem to be dense these days. Things have been a little rough for me these past 3 or 4 days and denseness has settled in.
Any case, Dinah you will be missed.
rsk
ps. Dinah if you are reading this, I only asked the way I did so that you don't feel compelled to answer. You can wait and let someone else clear up my foggy brain.
Posted by KAL44 on March 3, 2008, at 19:30:46
In reply to Re: I am resigning as deputy, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2008, at 13:19:30
That seems strange to me that an ex-deputy would be treated the same as if they were still a deputy. Of course I have no idea how a deputy is treated by Dr. Bob, and so what do I know. It just sounds odd to me.
Posted by KAL44 on March 3, 2008, at 19:32:30
In reply to Re: I am resigning as deputy » Dinah, posted by KAL44 on March 3, 2008, at 19:30:46
I meant to add that I don't understand why Dr. Bob would treat an ex-deputy as if that person was still a deputy. I don't understand I guess.
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 3, 2008, at 20:25:34
In reply to I am resigning as deputy, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2008, at 9:22:57
I, as usual, have no idea what's going on, but I will say this: I have not only enjoyed but have benefited immensely from all your posts -- deputy and non-deputy. You are so open-minded and diplomatic. Any change to the policies around here that would take you from us is just wrong.
Posted by obsidian on March 3, 2008, at 20:55:16
In reply to Re: Bob, can you clarify please » Phoenix1, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2008, at 13:24:11
> I don't think the majority of Babblers need to worry about it. I think the majority of Babblers will turn cartwheels, and in fact many that have left may well return.
no cartwheel here...
these people to whom you refer (if they exist) are so lacking in good judgment that I would not waste my time paying attention to them, except perhaps to trip them as they cartwheeled
Posted by AbbieNormal on March 3, 2008, at 21:13:28
In reply to Re: I am resigning as deputy » KAL44, posted by KAL44 on March 3, 2008, at 19:32:30
> I meant to add that I don't understand why Dr. Bob would treat an ex-deputy as if that person was still a deputy.
Perhaps because he doesn't like losing control?
Posted by Sigismund on March 3, 2008, at 21:25:49
In reply to Re: Bob, can you clarify please » Phoenix1, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2008, at 13:24:11
>I don't think the majority of Babblers need to worry about it. I think the majority of Babblers will turn cartwheels, and in fact many that have left may well return.
I feel sure that's not so.
What you have given to this community has been deeply appreciated.
Of course there have been disagreements.
Posted by Dinah on March 3, 2008, at 21:57:09
In reply to Re: I am resigning as deputy, posted by AbbieNormal on March 3, 2008, at 21:13:28
I'm sorry. Posting this without being able to explain it has led to more confusion than I would have liked. I didn't wish for that when I posted it. I wanted to stop an ongoing conversation with Dr. Bob that was hurting me, and that I had no reason to believe would end any differently than usual. But my feelings are different than usual this time.
Being a deputy means a lot of forks in the road. At lots of times, you have to as a deputy decide if this hill or that hill is worth dying on. Whether you are willing to accept something or quit being a deputy. Or as I more inelegantly put it, you have to swallow whatever Dr. Bob serves you, or leave.
I made it clear that he was asking something of me that was my hill. That was too large for me to swallow. My understanding of his answer, and I've restated it plenty of times so that I made sure he understood what I was hearing him to say, was that resigning made no difference. That whether or not I resigned, this change of policy would affect me the same way. I had to swallow it whether I remained a deputy or not. I would not be treated as a poster who had never been a deputy in this matter.
I understand that he would not frame it in this way. I understand that he may see this as my decision, not a decision that was forced on me. He even may think I'm being intransigent and stubborn or trying to exert my will. I understand that he may see it that way. I see it as having no choice.
At first, since it didn't matter whether or not I resigned, I was just going to quit posting and reading and remain a deputy, to keep the only possible ties I have to a community I love. But I found it was bringing me too much pain for me to tolerate. That's not Dr. Bob's fault. But it's true.
There might well be a lot of debate with a lot of good ideas on each side whether the change in policy is a good thing or a bad thing. It was the change of policy I was referring to as being something a lot of people would be thrilled about. Not my quitting as deputy. Although I'd be foolish to think that my quitting met with universal feelings of distress, I know that posters have generally been kind to me in this role and out of it. And my decision has nothing whatsoever to do with any posters at all. I love Babble and I love Babble posters. It is solely an issue of Dr. Bob not leaving me any choice that I could see.
I'm not saying that Dr. Bob is a bad guy. I'm not even positive I'm angry with him. I might be. I think he's doing what he thinks is best for the community, whether or not I agree.
It's definitely not good at all for me.
And in those situations, it's the poster who has to give. It's always been that way and it always will be, because Dr. Bob is the boss. In a way posters come to that fork in the road all the time too. As we do in everything in life, I guess.
I'm not going to pretend that I'm leaving to pursue other interests, or that I'm leaving because I want to. That wouldn't be fair to the relationship I've always had with Babble.
I don't know if this makes any more sense than what I said before. But I'm afraid I caused more distress than I wished and more confusion than I'd ever want to cause. I just wanted everyone to understand that this has absolutely nothing to do with Babble posters, just with Dr. Bob. And that I'm not hysterical or overly upset. I haven't even cried since this morning. I'm just sad.
Posted by Phillipa on March 3, 2008, at 22:07:14
In reply to Re: I am resigning as deputy, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2008, at 21:57:09
Dinah I understand. I really do. Love Phillipa
Posted by annierose on March 3, 2008, at 22:14:18
In reply to Re: I am resigning as deputy, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2008, at 21:57:09
I am so sadden by this news.
Babble just won't be the same without you on board.
I hope this resolves itself soon and Dr. Bob helps the process of healing.
Posted by karen_kay on March 4, 2008, at 9:44:03
In reply to I am resigning as deputy, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2008, at 9:22:57
did i miss something? ((((dinah))))) i'm clueless as to what's going on dear, but i wish you the best of luck in your choices hun. and you know how much respect i have for you. if your final decision is to withdrawl as a deputy, you will be dearly missed!!!!
((((((dinah))))))
Posted by seldomseen on March 4, 2008, at 10:17:10
In reply to huh? » Dinah, posted by karen_kay on March 4, 2008, at 9:44:03
yeah, that's my response too.
I'm sorry for any pain that you are going through right now dinah.
I wish there was some way you would feel comfortable staying on the boards, but I respect your decision.
You make good decisions.
You will be missed. Greatly.
Love
Seldom.
Posted by Kath on March 4, 2008, at 12:04:47
In reply to huh? » Dinah, posted by karen_kay on March 4, 2008, at 9:44:03
if your final decision is to withdrawl as a deputy, you will be dearly missed!!!!
>
> ((((((dinah))))))*************That's the problem kk - it's not to withdraw as a deputy. It's to not be posting on PB at all :-((
Kath
Posted by llurpsienoodle on March 4, 2008, at 19:44:24
In reply to Sadly........ » karen_kay, posted by Kath on March 4, 2008, at 12:04:47
Dinah,
you have always been a beacon of quirky sensitivity. I will miss hearing tales of your mama-daddy T and the pups.Can you figure out some way to reincarnate yourself?
or clone you?
((((((((dinah)))))))))
love,
llurps, who (in her head) says your name DEEEEnah, even though I know better.
Posted by Phillipa on March 4, 2008, at 19:50:21
In reply to Re: Sadly........, posted by llurpsienoodle on March 4, 2008, at 19:44:24
Lurpsie sounds Southern. Love Phillipa agree with you post.
Posted by KAL44 on March 4, 2008, at 21:26:10
In reply to Re: I am resigning as deputy, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2008, at 21:57:09
I guess I still don't understand why you are leaving as a deputy or poster, but I can see it is very hurtful to you, and I am very sorry for that.
Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2008, at 1:43:21
In reply to I am resigning as deputy, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2008, at 9:22:57
Everyone, I'm really sorry. I should have never posted any of this.
I was wasting so much of my time trying to decide what to do, and agonizing over it, and I just wanted to force myself into a decision. Because once I've posted it, I can't go back on it. I'd look ridiculous. I know this is the right decision. But if I didn't say so on board, I'd be likely crawling back and begging Dr. Bob to let me come back. Because that's who I am. I am terrified of change. I'm terrified of loss.
So that's why I posted it. Then people seemed to think I was mad at posters, and I tried to fix it. And I probably made things worse.
I'm sorry. I really am sorry. I don't know how to make a graceful exit. I never leave anything.
I really appreciate all the nice things people have said. I can't believe I forgot to acknowledge them. I can't tell you what it means to me. I have learned so much as Dinah, and I've received so much acceptance as Dinah.
I've tried to learn to keep my meltdowns off board over the years. And really they come far less often now than they used to. But I'm not doing so well, no matter how calm I may feel at times. And I've brought it on board, and I'm really very very sorry.
I'm sorry I'm being so dramatic. I hate being dramatic. I like being sensible.
Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2008, at 1:51:38
In reply to Re: I am resigning as deputy, posted by Dinah on March 5, 2008, at 1:43:21
And I really didn't want to just disappear without explanation, or let people think I was mad at them.
Posted by ClearSkies on March 5, 2008, at 18:42:25
In reply to Re: Hello, I thought you were blocked! » alex_again, posted by ClearSkies on March 5, 2008, at 16:18:59
Poof!
And another year added to the block, I surmise.
Well, it was nice to see you, however briefly. And *I* read what you had to say.
CS
Posted by Sigismund on March 5, 2008, at 19:15:00
In reply to And they're gone, posted by ClearSkies on March 5, 2008, at 18:42:25
But they have left a trace because you responded.
That's not what all this is about, is it?
Deleting posts?
Posted by Phillipa on March 5, 2008, at 21:14:13
In reply to Re: And they're gone » ClearSkies, posted by Sigismund on March 5, 2008, at 19:15:00
I feel it is generalization and contact admin and lets try another way. Meaning change of policy without consulting. That's how I took it????? Love Phillipa
Posted by muffled on March 5, 2008, at 22:04:23
In reply to Re: I am resigning as deputy, posted by Dinah on March 5, 2008, at 1:43:21
Dinah, you are not being dramatic, you are being kind in trying to let us know wassup w/you.
The reason you can't slip away quietly is because you are an important, valued, much cared for, member of babble. There's no way you could disappear without us wondering.
I am just sorry you are hurting so bad right now.
The pain is big, emotions really hurt, but they do ease some with time. I have come to realize that part is true.
And I know that the 'babble dinah', exists INSIDE, and in fact is PART of, IRL 'dinah'. So "dinah' is still here babble or not. You have many wonderful qualities dinah, but your no more perfect than I am, so we all have our 'moments' as it were. Though if this is your 'moment', then it seems very restrained. Not over the top at all. Very 'civil'. Just a fellow babbler calling out. And I see no wrong in that.
Here I am 'babbling' away. I just wish I knew the right thing to say to help you start to feel better faster.
I wish you could feel freer to post what you feel, that you could express yourself perhaps more cathartically, but perhaps this is not the place. There is always bmail or email, I am sure there are plenty, incl me who would love to give a little caring right back to you.
Take extra good care. Try and do nice things. Lean on T as much as you need to.
Your a good person Dinah.
M
Posted by ClearSkies on March 6, 2008, at 6:52:59
In reply to Re: And they're gone » ClearSkies, posted by Sigismund on March 5, 2008, at 19:15:00
> But they have left a trace because you responded.
>
> That's not what all this is about, is it?
>
> Deleting posts?A blocked poster registered under a different name (Alex again), and posted. When this happens, the posts are routinely deleted, but the responses aren't usually. The block is then extended because of the go-around of the rules.
ClearSkies
Posted by Phoenix1 on March 6, 2008, at 8:08:41
In reply to And they're gone, posted by ClearSkies on March 5, 2008, at 18:42:25
> Poof!
> And another year added to the block, I surmise.
> Well, it was nice to see you, however briefly. And *I* read what you had to say.
> CSI read them too, and despite the evident anger, and incivility, there was a whole lot of truth. But now they're gone, understandably so because of the posting while blocked rule. Too bad. It would be great if it were possible to speak one's mind without breaking civility rules, but unfortunately it's impossible. So much for healthy debate.
Phoenix1
Posted by Toph on March 6, 2008, at 11:03:42
In reply to Re: Hello, I thought you were blocked! » alex_again, posted by ClearSkies on March 5, 2008, at 16:18:59
I saw your posts Alex. They can't erase my memory (unless they send me a case of Bushmans). What's ironic and sad (a recent theme of some of my posts) is that your passion for fairness comes from caring about those you have met here. Too much passion for this place. Off with her head.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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